# New Hope Divorce Mediation > Divorce Without Court --- ## Pages - [Recommended Professionals](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/recommended-professionals/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce Mediation in Marlton, NJ](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/marlton-nj/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce Mediation in Warrington, PA](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/warrington-pa/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce Mediation in King of Prussia, PA](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/king-of-prussia-pa/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce Mediation in Princeton, NJ](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/princeton-nj/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce Mediation in Huntingdon Valley, PA](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/huntingdon-valley-pa/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce Mediation in Bridgewater, NJ](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/bridgewater-nj/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce Mediation in Newtown, PA](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/newtown-pa/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Home](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Our Process](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Testimonials & Reviews](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/testimonials/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Our Team](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-team/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [FAQs](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/faqs/): Learn about the divorce mediation process, pricing, what to expect, and more by reading our frequently asked questions. - [Save Time and Money](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/save-time-money/): Mediation is significantly less expensive than going to court. Financial Cost–Studies have shown that mediation will cost one-third to one-tenth... - [Reach Lasting Agreements](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/reach-lasting-agreements/): Mediation participants are much more likely to abide by the terms of their Marital Settlement Agreements in the future. Mediation... - [Preserve Relationships](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/preserve-relationships/): Throughout the mediation process we use problem solving techniques that often help avoid conflict in the future. We use ground... - [Maintain Control](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/maintain-control/): Mediation participants retain control over the timing and terms of the Marital Settlement Agreement rather than handing over the decision... - [Locations](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/): We currently offer our divorce mediation services in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. View our office locations and reach out for a consultation. - [About](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/about/): Bridging Communication ... giving new hope About Us Mediation Saves Money Mediation is significantly less expensive than going to court.... - [Contact](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/contact/): Contact New Hope Divorce Mediation through email or phone, or visit us at any of our New Jersey and Pennsylvania locations. Schedule online. - [Blog](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/blog/): Learn about divorce, divorce mediation, and divorcing as a parent in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, on the New Hope Divorce Mediation blog. - [Videos & Testimonials](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/videos-testimonials/): Bridging Communication ... giving new hope WHAT CLIENTS ARE SAYING ~ J. V. ~ T. P. ~ K. K. ~... --- ## Posts - [Divorcing When You Have Special Needs Children](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorcing-when-you-have-special-needs-children/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [How Do Divorce Mediators Stay Neutral?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-do-divorce-mediators-stay-neutral/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-long-does-divorce-mediation-take/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [How Does the Filing Process Work for Divorce Mediation?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-does-the-filing-process-work-for-divorce-mediation/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [The Difference Between Mediators and Attorney-Mediators](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/attorney-mediators-vs-mediators-whats-the-difference/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [How Much Does Divorce Mediation Cost?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-much-does-divorce-mediation-cost/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [What Is Divorce Mediation](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-is-divorce-mediation/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Owner and Attorney-Mediator Karen Salib on Her Approach to Divorce Mediation](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/karen-salib-approach-to-divorce-mediation/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [A New Beginning for New Hope Divorce Mediation](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-ownership-at-new-hope-divorce-mediation/): Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - [Divorce, College, and Retirement - How to Prioritize](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-college-and-retirement-how-to-prioritize/): The author of this article is a Certified Divorce Financial Planner who I respect greatly. She advises prioritizing saving for retirement. - [Divorce and Your Credit](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-credit/): What to do if your credit is affected by your ex-spouse not paying joint debt that they promised to pay during your divorce. - [Divorce and Social Security Benefits](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-social-security-benefits/): This article provides some helpful information about the availability of collecting social security benefits as a divorced spouse if you qualify. - [What Happens to Your Mortgage When You Get Divorced](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-happens-to-your-mortgage-when-you-get-divorced/): It is important to know when you are divorcing that the mortgage for your jointly owned home is contracted with both of you and your lender. - [What You Should Know About Divorce Mediation](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-you-should-know-about-divorce-mediation/): It is important to make sure that you feel comfortable with your divorce mediator. - [Co-Parenting: What You Should Know](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-what-you-should-know/): Hold your children and their needs above everything else throughout your divorce and while co-parenting, and the rest of the details will be worked out. - [Getting Through Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/getting-through-your-divorce/): The most productive way to get through your divorce grief is to choose to move on and implement positive and constructive methods to meet your goals. - [Boosting Self-Esteem After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/boosting-self-esteem-after-divorce/): There are plenty of steps to take to boost your self-esteem. - [How to Reinvigorate Your Life After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-to-reinvigorate-your-life-after-divorce/): Reinvigorate yourself with self-care and reestablishing old friendships. - [Divorce and Your Finances](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-finances/): While many fear the unknown financially and otherwise, it is also an opportunity to take control and be the CEO of your own independent financial household. - [How Does Divorce Affect Your Retirement](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-does-divorce-affect-your-retirement/): Both New Jersey and Pennsylvania are equitable distribution states. As such, retirement assets earned during the marriage are marital property subject to equitable distribution. - [Co-Parenting During the COVID-19 Pandemic](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/): While it is important to respect each other through the co-parenting partnership, the COVID pandemic stresses these agreements. - [How to Manage Your Emotions When Co-Parenting](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-to-manage-your-emotions-when-co-parenting/): This article lays out some great tips for taking the reactive emotion out of co-parenting. The tips, however, are universal... - [Boosting Your Self Esteem After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/boosting-your-self-esteem-after-divorce/): While divorce often feels like a loss as you are going through it, you may also work on rediscovering who you were before things went off track, who you have become, or who you want to be on the other side of the divorce process. - [Co-Parenting and Your Children's Feelings](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-and-your-childrens-feelings/): This article provides wise guidance addressing how you interact with your children on the topic of your ex during and after your divorce. - [Online Mediation Spikes for Divorce in COVID-19](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/online-mediation-spikes-for-divorce-in-covid-19/): While I do love meeting with people and mediating that way, I have found that video conferencing is much more personal and connected than I would have thought. - [Staying Mindful in Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/staying-mindful-in-your-divorce/): Taking time to enjoy who you are with some added peace is a positive step in the healing process. - [Will Divorce Soar At The End of the Quarantine?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/will-divorce-soar-at-the-end-of-the-quarantine/): I have been wondering about this since the pandemic began... will divorces skyrocket when the crisis and/or quarantine is behind... - [Divorce and Tele-Mediation](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-tele-mediation/): In order to continue to provide mediation services through the pandemic, I have taken to using video conferencing on a regular basis. - [Moving Forward After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/moving-forward-after-divorce/): These are fabulous suggestions for moving forward after divorce. - [What You Shouldn't Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-you-shouldnt-tell-your-kids-about-your-divorce/): Remember that if you “bash your ex” or soon to be ex, then you are criticizing 50% of your child. - [Helping Your Child Deal with Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/helping-your-child-deal-with-your-divorce/): I agree that counseling for your child can be very helpful while you are going through the transition of divorce. - [Student Loans and Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/student-loans-and-divorce/): This is sometimes a complex issue which is an important topic of conversation in mediation. - [Investing In Your Health After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/investing-in-your-health-after-divorce/): Investing in your health leads to self-confidence and exponential dividends in your future. - [Gray Divorce: What You Should Know](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/gray-divorce-what-you-should-know/): You probably have a lot invested in a long term marriage. When facing divorce the same rules apply, such as... - [Losses in Divorce - What You Should Know](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/losses-in-divorce-what-you-should-know/): The losses listed in this article are tough. There is a silver lining in each of them. First of all,... - [Financial Settlements After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/financial-settlements-after-divorce/): It is always important to understand the finances surrounding your home, lifestyle and paying the bills. - [Tips for Making Divorce More Tolerable](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/tips-for-making-divorce-more-tolerable/): These are all great tips. Yes, lean on your friends and family... don’t shut yourself off. However, the people in... - [Updating Important Information During Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/updating-important-information-during-your-divorce/): Updating your beneficiary information is very important. Even if you want to retain your former spouse as your beneficiary for... - [Divorce and Your Health](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-health/): Due in large part to greater acceptance, more and more studies show that a healthy divorce is much better for... - [Anxiety in Children During Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/anxiety-in-children-during-divorce/): One tip that may be helpful is speaking with the guidance counselor at your child’s school about your divorce so that he or she may help be your eyes and ears while your child is at school. - [Real Estate Mistakes and Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/real-estate-mistakes-and-divorce/): There are three important components to marital residence real estate ownership which must be addressed when there is a change of ownership during divorce. - [Divorce and Alimony](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-alimony/): With the new Tax and Jobs Act, the tax treatment of alimony has changed, but so have the formulas and/or considerations for calculating alimony payments. - [Helping Your Teen Cope with Post-Divorce Challenges](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/helping-your-teen-cope-with-post-divorce-challenges/): Remember that your children are 50% of each parent. - [Emotional Abuse and Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/emotional-abuse-and-divorce/): An argument is not emotional abuse so where do you draw the line? The following article, “When Is It Emotional... - [Should You Divorce?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/should-you-divorce/): Getting divorced is a big step. I consider divorce a life transition which is one reason that the divorce mediation... - [Assets and Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/assets-and-your-divorce/): Make sure that when you are deciding whether you or your children’s needs are best served by retaining your martial... - [Learning to Make Ends Meet After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/learning-to-make-ends-meet-after-divorce/): It is a fact that it costs more to financially support two households than it costs to support one. It... - [Divorce Support Team](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-support-team/): Make sure you choose the divorce process that best suits your approach. For instance, make sure that your attorney or... - [Never Speak ill of the Other Parent](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/never-speak-ill-of-the-other-parent/): As you can see from the article below, there is a name for it, ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome’. You may no... - [Life Insurance in Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/life-insurance-in-divorce/): It is important that you maintain life insurance with the children named as beneficiaries and the alternate spouse as trustee... - [Financial Decisions After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/financial-decisions-after-divorce/): During the divorce mediation process, we explore finances to ensure that you are able to afford the decisions you are... - [Divorce and Your Credit Score](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-credit-score/): If one person is taking sole responsibility for the joint mortgage or any other joint debt as part of the... - [How the New Tax Law Will Affect Alimony](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-tax-law-will-affect-alimony/): An important change is coming in divorce law as a result of the new tax act. Alimony payments have been... - [Divorce and Shared Parenting](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-shared-parenting/): Courts are supporting shared parenting arrangements with both parents significantly involved more and more. As you can see from the... - [Tips to Reduce Your Stress of Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/tips-reduce-stress-divorce/): The article, Reduce the Stress of a Divorce, addresses some well-advised coping techniques for going through a divorce. In general,... - [Make Sure You Are Not Making These Huge Divorce Mistakes](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/make-sure-not-making-huge-divorce-mistakes/): It can be so hard to be strong when you are going through a divorce. It is the time you... - [Tips for a Healthy Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/tips-healthy-divorce/): You will always be the parents to your children. Forever. Please remember to keep the adult issues between the adults.... - [Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-tips-divorced-parents/): Don’t speak ill of the other parent in front of your children! Your children are half of each of you... - [Questions to Ask Before Getting Divorced](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/questions-ask-getting-divorced/): When deciding whether to proceed with a divorce, ask yourself whether your issues are what I call ‘roommate issues’. If... - [Shared Parenting Is Best for Children After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/shared-parenting-best-children-divorce/): More and more courts are routinely favoring shared parenting time schedules when work requirements allow. Children want to be loved... - [Preparing Your Finances For Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/preparing-finances-divorce/): If you haven’t been the one paying the bills for your joint household, you will need to learn and there... - [Money Issues and Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/money-issues-divorce/): Sometimes during a mediation session, I will hear one partner say, “you only care about the money. ” My response... - [Top Three Divorce Expenses](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/top-three-divorce-expenses/): The article The Top Three Big Divorce Expenses provides an explanation of the top three expenses in divorce and tips... - [Talking with Your Children About Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/talking-children-divorce/): The article 7 Tips for Communicating with Your Children About Your Divorce is a wonderful guide to how to talk... - [How Does Divorce Mediation Work?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-mediation-work/): Facing a divorce is confusing. You are approaching an unfamiliar process. Have your heard about divorce mediation? Here is my... - [BACK TO SCHOOL FLEXIBILITY AND GENEROSITY](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/back-school-flexibility-generosity/): Flexibility and generosity should always be your guiding mantra as you navigate through your shared parenting time arrangements. Human nature... - [Pets in Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/pets-in-divorce/): Pets are considered personal property in divorce. Some states will consider who will retain the pet as part of their... - [When Mediating your Divorce Remember…](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/mediating-divorce-remember/): When Mediating your Divorce Remember... Understanding your spouse’s position is not the same as agreeing with it. Agree to be... - [Divorce and the Affordable Care Act](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-affordable-care-act/): If you are the spouse covered on your employer’s plan, you won’t lose your health insurance coverage. You will drop... - [TED TED TALK—PARENT CONFLICT WORSE THAN DIVORCE](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/ted-ted-talk-parent-conflict-worse-than-divorce/): When I sit across from a couple who is embarking on the divorce process I ask them about their greatest... - [Brand New NJ Alimony Reform Case Law](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/brand-new-nj-alimony-reform-case-law/): Hot off the presses! Application of the new alimony statute modification provision based on retirement was tested in the Superior... - [FEAR & THREATS & DIVORCE](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/fear-threats-divorce/): A common theme when approaching divorce is fear. Of course there is fear of the unknown, but what about the... - [FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU BECOME IT!](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/fake-it-til-you-become-it/): Divorce is about change. I see it in my practice every day. Usually one mediation participant is further along the... - [Same Sex Marriage & Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/same-sex-marriage-divorce/): As most if not all of the population of the United States is aware, the landmark June 26, 2015 US... - [Independence Day After Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/independence-day-after-divorce/): BUCKET LIST: Force yourself to make one. As a matter of fact you should probably make two bucket lists. The... - [New Jersey's New Alimony Law](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-jerseys-new-alimony-law/): New Jersey’s alimony law was revised on September 10, 2014. Some of the changes in New Jersey’s controversial alimony law clarify durational limits. - [No Tools Allowed](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/no-tools-allowed/): I love hearing during the divorce mediation process that parents both want to spend time with their children. The flip... - [Which Wolf Will You Feed?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/which-wolf-will-you-feed/): Over the weekend I saw a movie that contained a fabulous parable. According to my research it is an old... - [Back to Blogging](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/back-to-blogging/): We have redesigned the new hope divorce mediation website and in the spirit of renewal I am recommitting to writing... - [Smoothing the Divorce Process](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/handling-the-divorce-process-with-grace/): Divorce is a highly emotional time for families, and it’s important to get support. Support from friends, families and therapy... - [Children and Divorce: Making the Transition](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/children-and-divorce-making-the-transition/): Divorce is hard on everyone. Once you’ve accepted the decision to make the split, how do you break it to the kids? How do you help them make the transition? - [The Pitfalls of Trying to Negotiate Your Divorce on Your Own](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/the-pitfalls-of-trying-to-negotiate-your-divorce-on-your-own/): Usually when people call to inquire about divorce mediation they underestimate the complexity of the issues involved under the circumstances... - [Divorce Advice for an Uncontested Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-advice-for-an-uncontested-divorce/): As you move forward through this transition time, you’re bound to have many questions. A divorce mediator provides neutral facilitation... - [5 Tax Tips for Divorcing Couples](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/5-tax-tips-for-divorcing-couples/): Last year around this time I blogged about 4 tax tips for divorcing couples. It is that time of year... - [Top 10 Reasons to Mediate Your Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/top-10-reasons-to-mediate-your-divorce/): The Huffington Post which regularly posts articles on divorce recently published an article that laid out the “Top 10 Reasons... - [New Hope Divorce Mediation On The Radio](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-hope-divorce-mediation-on-the-radio/): Brad Segall, host of 98. 1 WOGL’s Philadelphia Agenda, recently spoke with Paul Murray, President of PTM Wealth Management and... - [98.1 WOGL Philadelphia Agenda with Brad Segall](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/98-1-wogl-philadelphia-agenda-with-brad-segall/): I am a guest on 98. 1 WOGL’s Philadelphia Agenda with Brad Segall Sunday morning from 6:30-7:00 a. m. Paul... - [January is ‘Divorce Month’](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/january-is-divorce-month/): So many couples hold on through the holidays in the hope that the magic of those special shared moments will... - [Divorce Tool Kit](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-tool-kit/): A divorcing client proclaimed, “Divorce is so ironic: I feel awful, anxious, and angry, but everyone tells me I have... - [Women in transition find advice, camaraderie at chamber event](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/women-in-transition-find-advice-camaraderie-at-chamber-event/): This article appeared on phillyburbs. com. Margaret Thompson drove all the way to Doylestown from Swarthmore Tuesday to seek support... - [Guidelines for Divorced Parents of Teens](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/guidelines-for-divorced-parents-of-teens/): I am always a huge proponent of divorcing couples remembering to behave appropriately as parents during the divorce process. As... - [Is Nesting (Continuing to Share Residence After Divorce) a Good Idea?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/is-nesting-continuing-to-share-residence-after-divorce-a-good-idea/): Unless you are a multimillionaire with unlimited resources, you will feel the financial effects of dividing your funds and assets... - [How Do Divorce and Education Affect Success?](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-do-divorce-and-education-affect-success/): Last week the New York Times published an article on the effects of education and divorce on income and upward... - [Shared Child Custody Tips](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/shared-child-custody-tips/): This blog has repeatedly reinforced the concept that it is of utmost importance for divorcing and/or divorced parent to be... - [Mediation Training: Family Law Class](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/mediation-training-family-law-class/): I recently attended a 40 hour seminar on family law mediation training. While mediation is taking hold more and more... - [Divorce Without the Arguing](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-without-the-arguing/): Two helpful articles recently written in the Huffington Post about avoiding (or perhaps more realistically minimizing) arguments during the divorce... - [Back to Basics: Divorce Mediation Models & Standards](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/back-to-basics-divorce-mediation-models-standards/): After attending a Continuing Legal Education mediation training class this week, I was pondering the ongoing debate between mediation styles.... - [Grieving and Healing Through Separation and Divorce](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/grieving-and-healing-through-separation-and-divorce/): In my blogs I like to add my perspective to an expert’s article. My theory is that I may add... - [Facebook and Texting is Incriminating Evidence in Divorces](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/facebook-and-texting-is-incriminating-evidence-in-divorces/): Facebook posts and text messages are a significant and growing trend as evidence in litigated divorce cases. Litigants no longer... - [4 Tax Tips For Divorcing Couples](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/4-tax-tips-for-divorcing-couples/): According to Barbara Zell Weinberger, Esq. writing for the Huffington Post, The following are the most commonly asked questions asked... - [Turning Divorce Lemons into Lemonade](https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/turning-divorce-lemons-into-lemonade/): Some of the time there is mutual agreement as spouses head for divorce. Of course this is the ideal situation... --- # # Detailed Content ## Pages > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-05-07 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/recommended-professionals/ New Hope Divorce Mediation Professional Network Meet our network of trusted professionals who can support you before, during, and after your divorce. We know how difficult it is to divorce, from separating finances, to changing your living situation, to figuring out co-parenting - it can be overwhelming. Fortunately, you don't have to navigate these new waters alone. At NHDM, we know the importance of building a trusted team. Whether you need a therapist, a financial advisor, a realtor, a mortgage specialist, or even a tax professional, we are happy to help you find trusted experts who care about the families they support as much as we do. Finances and Insurance Certified Public Accountants (CPA) A CPA can assist you in your divorce mediation process by providing expert financial analysis and helping ensure that assets, liabilities, and potential tax implications are accurately evaluated and properly addressed. Kelly Galardi, CPA (Bucks County) Kelly, founder of her firm, has 15+ years of experience in accounting, specializing in IRS audits, penalty abatement, and working with businesses, estates, and trusts. Contact Info:(267) 885-9185kelly@kagalardicpa. comwww. kagalardicpa. com Retirement Benefits Specialists A Retirement Benefits Specialist supports individuals in divorce mediation by preparing QDROs, conducting actuarial valuations of pensions, ensuring that retirement assets are accurately valued and prepared for division. Matthew Morley, Esquire Matt brings specialized expertise to drafting Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs) to effectuate the equitable division of ERISA-qualified retirement plans such as 401(k)'s, 403(b)'s and qualified pensions. Contact Info:(610) 650-0439morley@klmattorneys. comwww. klmattorneys. com Mark Altschuler... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-01-29 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/marlton-nj/ Divorce Mediation in Marlton, NJ Divorce mediation for South Jersey couples seeking an amicable and smooth divorce. Our Marlton, NJ Divorce Mediation Office 10,000 Lincoln Drive E One Greentree Centre, Suite 201 Marlton, NJ 08053 855-222-4673 Our Marlton divorce mediation office is conveniently located in the One Greentree Centre at 10,000 Lincoln Drive East, Suite 201, easily accessible from Routes 73 and 70. With a central location in Burlington County, our professional office space provides a comfortable, private setting for working through your divorce mediation. As both skilled mediators and experienced attorneys, we offer a unique approach to divorce that puts you in control of the outcome. Our Marlton team understands New Jersey divorce laws inside and out, but more importantly, we understand how to help couples communicate effectively during this challenging transition. From our Burlington County office, we've guided countless South Jersey families toward amicable solutions that protect everyone's interests. Ready to explore a better way to divorce? Contact us to learn how we can help you move forward with confidence and peace of mind. Meet Our Pennsylvania Attorney-Mediator Karen G. Salib, Esq. Karen, attorney-mediator and owner of New Hope Divorce Mediation, guides families through the challenging terrain of divorce with remarkable insight and empathy. With her unique blend of litigation expertise and mediation skills, she helps couples find fair and collaborative solutions. MEET OUR TEAM "New Hope Divorce Mediation not only guided me through my divorce process in exactly the way I needed, but also organized my case... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-01-29 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/warrington-pa/ Divorce Mediation in Warrington, PA Our Warrington, PA attorney-mediators go above and beyond to provide divorce mediation services that help Pennsylvania couples divorce amicably and smoothly. Our Warrington, PA Divorce Mediation Office 1243 Easton Road, Suite 203 Warrington, PA 18976 855-222-4673 Our Warrington divorce mediation office is ideally situated at 1243 Easton Road, Suite 203, easily accessible from Route 611 and convenient for families throughout Bucks County. The welcoming office space offers private, comfortable meeting rooms and plenty of free parking for our clients. Our experienced attorney-mediators have deep roots in the Bucks County area and a proven track record of helping Pennsylvania couples navigate divorce with less stress and conflict. By combining our expertise in PA family law with skilled mediation techniques, we provide local families with a more collaborative approach to divorce. Whether you're in Warrington, Doylestown, or anywhere in Bucks County, our team understands your needs and the Pennsylvania legal landscape. Let us help you work toward a divorce agreement that serves both you and your spouse's best interests. Meet Our Pennsylvania Attorney-Mediator Josh Kershenbaum, Esq. Josh is an attorney-mediator with 25 years of experience in conflict resolution and special education law. He is renowned for his innovative Disability-Informed Mediation approach, helping families and institutions navigate complex disputes through compassionate, collaborative strategies. MEET OUR TEAM "New Hope Divorce Mediation not only guided me through my divorce process in exactly the way I needed, but also organized my case in a way that reduced the overall timeline of... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-01-29 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/king-of-prussia-pa/ Divorce Mediation in King of Prussia, PA Amicable divorce made possible with divorce mediation in our King of Prussia, PA office. Our King of Prussia, PA Divorce Mediation Office 1150 First Avenue, Suite 501 King of Prussia, PA 19406 855-222-4673 Our King of Prussia divorce mediation office is conveniently located at 1150 First Avenue, Suite 501, just minutes from the King of Prussia Mall and easily accessible from I-76 and the PA Turnpike. With abundant free parking and situated in the heart of Montgomery County's business district, our location is ideal for couples throughout the Greater Philadelphia area. Our attorney-mediators bring years of experience helping Pennsylvania couples and families navigate their divorce with dignity and respect. We combine our expertise in both family law litigation and Pennsylvania divorce mediation to guide you toward solutions that work. Since we understand the complexities of PA divorce laws and the unique needs of Montgomery County families, we can help you and your spouse create a divorce agreement that protects everyone's interests. Meet Our Pennsylvania Attorney-Mediator Josh Kershenbaum, Esq. Josh is an attorney-mediator with 25 years of experience in conflict resolution and special education law. He is renowned for his innovative Disability-Informed Mediation approach, helping families and institutions navigate complex disputes through compassionate, collaborative strategies. MEET OUR TEAM "New Hope Divorce Mediation not only guided me through my divorce process in exactly the way I needed, but also organized my case in a way that reduced the overall timeline of completion. New Hope's educated... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-01-29 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/princeton-nj/ Divorce Mediation in Princeton, NJ Our Princeton, NJ attorney-mediators provide guidance and support as you navigate the divorce mediation process. Our Princeton, NJ Divorce Mediation Office 300 Carnegie Center, Suite 150 Princeton, NJ 08540 855-222-4673 Our Mercer County divorce mediation office in Princeton, NJ is located right by US-1, off the Carnegie Center Blvd exit. With ample parking and many restaurants nearby, it's a convenient location for many in South Jersey. Near Market Fair mall, there are many restaurants close by to stop at after your divorce mediation session. For divorcing couples in New Jersey, there is no better choice than New Hope Divorce Mediation. Our team of attorney-mediators brings the perfect blend of legal expertise and compassionate support to help you through this transition. We've guided countless New Jersey couples toward amicable divorce solutions. We understand that every family's situation is unique, which is why we take the time to truly listen and develop personalized approaches for each case. Whether you're just starting to explore divorce mediation in NJ or ready to begin the process, our attorney-mediators are here to help you navigate this journey with professionalism and care.     Meet Our Pennsylvania Attorney-Mediator Karen G. Salib, Esq. Karen, attorney-mediator and owner of New Hope Divorce Mediation, guides families through the challenging terrain of divorce with remarkable insight and empathy. With her unique blend of litigation expertise and mediation skills, she helps couples find fair and collaborative solutions. MEET OUR TEAM "New Hope Divorce Mediation not only guided... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-01-29 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/huntingdon-valley-pa/ Divorce Mediation in Huntingdon Valley, PA We provide divorce mediation in Huntingdon Valley, PA for those seeking an amicable divorce. Our Huntingdon Valley, PA Divorce Mediation Office 67 Buck Road Huntingdon Valley, PA 19006 855-222-4673 Our Montgomery County divorce mediation office is in Huntingdon Valley, PA, right off I-276. Located at the corner of Buck Road and County Line Road near Feasterville, it's conveniently located for those in the area. We also offer virtual divorce mediation for divorcing couples across Pennsylvania. Our local team brings a unique perspective as both experienced attorneys and skilled mediators. We've helped countless Pennsylvania couples work through their divorce with less stress and conflict than traditional litigation. Since we've handled both courtroom divorces and divorce mediation in Pennsylvania, we know exactly how to guide local families toward solutions that satisfy both parties and hold up legally. Our divorce mediation services give you and your spouse the tools to have productive conversations and reach agreements that work for your whole family. Let our experienced divorce mediators help you navigate this transition with dignity and mutual respect.   Meet Our Pennsylvania Attorney-Mediator Josh Kershenbaum, Esq. Josh is an attorney-mediator with 25 years of experience in conflict resolution and special education law. He is renowned for his innovative Disability-Informed Mediation approach, helping families and institutions navigate complex disputes through compassionate, collaborative strategies. MEET OUR TEAM "New Hope Divorce Mediation not only guided me through my divorce process in exactly the way I needed, but also organized my case... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-01-07 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/bridgewater-nj/ Divorce Mediation in Bridgewater, NJ Our Bridgewater, NJ attorney-mediators go above and beyond to provide unparalleled guidance, support, and consideration of your needs as you navigate the divorce process. Our Bridgewater, NJ Divorce Mediation Office 991 US Highway 22, Suite 200 Bridgewater, NJ 08807 855-222-4673 Our Somerset County divorce mediation office is located in Bridgewater, NJ, just off Interstate 287, near Bridgewater Commons. With ample parking and many restaurants nearby, it's a convenient location for many in South Jersey. Our attorney-mediators have extensive experience helping New Jersey couples and families navigate their divorce. Our backgrounds in both family law litigation and mediation means we have a deep understanding of New Jersey divorce laws, to help you create a divorce agreement that works for both you and your spouse. Meet Our New Jersey Attorney-Mediator Karen G. Salib, Esq. Karen, attorney-mediator and owner of New Hope Divorce Mediation, guides families through the challenging terrain of divorce with remarkable insight and empathy. With her unique blend of litigation expertise and mediation skills, she helps couples find fair and collaborative solutions. MEET OUR TEAM "New Hope Divorce Mediation made a really painful and arduous process as quick and easy as possible. Karen Salib and Sari Dominczyk were both consummate professionals, while also being compassionate and understanding throughout our entire proceedings. They were always quick to reply and explain everything in a way that both myself and my ex could easily understand. I would highly recommend using them to anyone. " MS, '24 Why Choose... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-01-07 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/newtown-pa/ Divorce Mediation in Newtown, PA Our Newtown, PA attorney-mediators go above and beyond to provide unparalleled guidance, support, and consideration of your needs as you navigate the divorce process. Our Newtown, PA Divorce Mediation Office 118 North State Street Newtown, PA 18940 855-222-4673 Our Bucks County divorce mediation office is located at 118 North State Street, Newtown, PA. Located next to the historic Newtown theater, right by Newtown Creek, the office is in a quaint, quiet neighborhood with plenty of street parking. Our attorney-mediators have decades of experience guiding Pennsylvania couples and families through the process of divorce, first from the litigation side, and now as mediators aiming to make divorce more accessible and less stressful. Meet Our Pennsylvania Attorney-Mediator Josh Kershenbaum, Esq. Josh is an attorney-mediator with 25 years of experience in conflict resolution and special education law. He is renowned for his innovative Disability-Informed Mediation approach, helping families and institutions navigate complex disputes through compassionate, collaborative strategies. MEET OUR TEAM "New Hope Divorce Mediation not only guided me through my divorce process in exactly the way I needed, but also organized my case in a way that reduced the overall timeline of completion. New Hope's educated staff promptly addressed the necessary filing requirements, submitted everything with the courts on my behalf and continually monitored my case for updates. I recommend anyone going through divorce proceedings to partner with New Hope to avoid a long drawn out process. You'll know you're in good hands. " JS, '24 Why Choose... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2024-05-02 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/ Divorce Without Court Achieve a fair and amicable divorce agreement with the support of our experienced and compassionate attorney-mediators. Schedule a Free Consultation Divorce Mediation in New Jersey and Pennsylvania DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY Mediation keeps you in control of what is most important to you and your family. With skillful support from compassionate attorney-mediators, our proven, comprehensive divorce and custody mediation process helps you and your spouse reach agreements efficiently and privately. Our experience makes your experience better. DIVORCE MEDIATION WITH NEW HOPE IS... A SMOOTHER APPROACH We designed our process to minimize pain and friction for you, your spouse, and your children. We create a space for open communication where everyone has a voice, so you can craft complete agreements that meet all your needs. A PERSONAL APPROACH Every divorce is different. Our dedicated team of attorney-mediators goes above and beyond to provide unparalleled guidance, support, and consideration of your needs. We'll help you navigate your divorce with compassion, competence, and understanding. AN EXPERT APPROACH With years of experience representing individuals in family law matters and in legal proceedings involving children with special needs before turning exclusively to mediation, we deeply understand the financial, legal, and emotional landscape of divorce. Our proven process leverages our expertise as attorney-mediators, empowering you to create comprehensive, enduring financial and parenting agreements. OUR TEAM Our team's primary goal is to help families navigate their divorce with dignity, efficiency, and unrivaled expertise. Our attorney-mediators and paralegal have decades of experience helping people through some... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2024-03-18 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process/ Our Divorce Mediation Process WE'RE WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY With years of experience representing individuals in family law matters and in legal proceedings involving children with special needs before turning exclusively to mediation, our attorney-mediators deeply understand the legal and emotional landscape you are facing. GET TO KNOW OUR TEAM OF ATTORNEY-MEDIATORS WHO CAN MEDIATE Anyone committed to resolving their conflict amicably can benefit from mediation. Mediation is voluntary, so it only works when both people participate willingly. With the help of a skilled, neutral facilitator, even those in "high conflict" relationships can efficiently reach agreements that meet your needs. If you're willing to listen, be creative, and focus on what matters most, you can resolve it all out of court through mediation. TYPES OF MEDIATION We can help you address and resolve all of your divorce and related concerns, including financial matters and parenting plans. DIVORCE MEDIATION We provide comprehensive and efficient divorce mediation services designed to help you stay in control and out of court. We help you through the divorce process one step at a time, including a thorough review and analysis of your assets and liabilities, and structured guidance that allows you to have productive discussions in each mediation session. At the conclusion of your mediation matter, you will have a full and final agreement regarding the division of your marital estate. SUPPORT MEDIATION We also offer detailed guidance on support matters, including both alimony and child support. We review your income information... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2024-01-16 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/testimonials/ What our clients have to say... . Testimonials & Reviews "I thought you were compassionate, thorough and a calming voice throughout the process. It was a painful ordeal, I appreciated your demeanor. " J. T. S. '25 "Your guidance and support were much appreciated through this difficult process. Your overview of the steps and items requiring discussion was helpful. Then, breaking down each item into smaller pieces as "homework" worked well for us and made an overwhelming process more digestible. It also made for efficient meetings. Your effort in working through the retirement disbursement was also appreciated to ensure that we were making an informed decision. At the beginning of the process, you asked us to indicate what was important to both of us in this process. I appreciated how you led us back to that throughout discussions as a reminder. You were easy to talk with and made it a comfortable environment to have these personal and important discussions with. Thank you for your help. " M. E. '25 "Throughout the process, demonstrated so much professionalism, wisdom, empathy, patience and kindness. Even at the times when my emotions were running high and I was becoming discouraged, your approach really helped me to stay patient and focused on what mattered most to me and the goals that we set in the beginning, which were to move through the process amicably and end at a result that seemed fair. I also wanted to also let you know that working with Sari... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2023-12-14 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-team/ Bridging Communication ... giving new hope About Our Team Divorce mediation with a personal touch Every divorce is different. Our dedicated team of attorney-mediators goes above and beyond to provide unparalleled guidance, support, and consideration of your needs. We'll help you navigate your divorce with compassion and understanding. Karen G. Salib, Esq. Attorney-Mediator & Owner Karen Salib, Esq. is a pioneer in family law mediation who has dedicated her legal career to helping families in Pennsylvania and New Jersey navigate divorce, separation and co-parenting with dignity, wisdom, and compassion. With decades of professional experience and expertise spanning divorce litigation, mediation, and education, she has developed a uniquely empowering, expert-informed approach to family restructuring that fosters efficient, intelligent problem solving without wasteful, destructive litigation. As the owner of New Hope Divorce Mediation, Karen continues a proud tradition of providing the most comprehensive, cost-effective, and creative conflict resolution services available to families in our community. A distinguished graduate of both Temple University's Beasley School of Law and the University of Pittsburgh, Karen has spent her entire professional career as a teacher, advocate, and peacemaker for our region's families. The seeds of her longstanding commitment to constructive conflict resolution were sown in her years as a teacher of children with special needs, and took root during law school, where she focused primarily on family law and participated in the prestigious Domestic Relations Mediation Clinic in the Philadelphia Court of Common Pleas. It was through these practical, immersive experiences with families embroiled in the... --- > Learn about the divorce mediation process, pricing, what to expect, and more by reading our frequently asked questions. - Published: 2017-11-01 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/faqs/ Frequently Asked Questions What are the Benefits of Divorce Mediation Over Litigation? You retain control over your divorce process; and Significantly less expensive; and Limited time frame; and Priceless benefits to your children and each other by reducing conflict so you may focus on your needs and the best interests of your children; and Supports cooperative communication; and Flexible meeting times in consideration of your work schedule and you set your own pace; and Craft a unique agreement tailored to your specific circumstances; and Avoid public disclosure of financial and personal matters since mediation is confidential. How Does Divorce Mediation Work? Your Attorney Mediator will guide you and your spouse in working together to reach an agreement. Mediators help couples separate their spousal role, which is ending, from their parental role, which is continuing. Couples learn to evaluate their present financial circumstances and provide for their future financial needs. With the Mediator's guidance, agreements aim to resolve both immediate and long range concerns. The mediator will focus on your specific divorce issues and identify possible options. You will actively participate in the negotiations to resolve your divorce issues and create a mutually satisfactory agreement which addresses the needs of all family members. The Attorney Mediator's goal is to guide a divorcing couple toward an acceptable settlement, with no winner or loser. Is Mediation Cheaper Than Retaining Litigation Attorneys to Handle a Divorce? Significantly. We charge a set fee which is provided by the conclusion of your complimentary consultation. Our fee... --- - Published: 2016-10-06 - Modified: 2016-10-28 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/save-time-money/ Mediation is significantly less expensive than going to court. Financial Cost--Studies have shown that mediation will cost one-third to one-tenth that of litigation. Online sources also quote research projecting a 90% savings using divorce mediation rather than litigation. Resolving a dispute with litigation is a very expensive undertaking. Parties are required to hire lawyers, who bill by the hour, the retainer is exhausted quickly and the costs continue to mount. Most cases settle before trial anyway with the lawyers in a closed room down the hall battling it out and any settlement reached at that point has come at a cost after significant funds have been spent in pre-trial preparation. Even in the case of a simple litigated matter, it is common for out-of-pocket to be in the tens of thousands of dollars. These expenses are exponentially greater when the marital estate is more complex. Mediation is the least-costly method for resolving disputes. Mediations are completed in substantially less time, so the costs are much lower. Mediation will cost a small fraction of the expense of proceeding through court litigation. The cost of a mediation will vary depending upon the complexity of the case and number of required mediation sessions, however, there is little or no debate around the fact that choosing mediation over traditional adversarial method saves money. A mediator’s fee is a tiny percentage of the cost of a full-blown legal court battle. Time/Opportunity Cost--The parties control the timing of the mediation process. This transitional time in your... --- - Published: 2016-10-06 - Modified: 2016-10-28 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/reach-lasting-agreements/ Mediation participants are much more likely to abide by the terms of their Marital Settlement Agreements in the future. Mediation participants create their own solutions. As a result, studies show that as contributors, the parties are much more likely to abide by their agreements, thus avoiding the cost and stress of ongoing legal battles. It is a basic tenant of classroom management that providing the opportunity for students to create their own classroom rules will result in more effective compliance with those rules. It is human nature. As a result of the litigation process, however, good people get caught up in a cycle of retaliation. It is also human nature. When one person is hauled into court, the animosity that each attack brings snowballs into ongoing battles. Fortunately, in the mediation process there is no winner or loser. Mediation participants take ownership of their mutually agreed upon resolutions. The resulting Agreement is the embodiment of satisfying results tailored to their unique circumstances. Mutual voluntary cooperation leads to a far greater likelihood of future compliance and mediation participants are much less likely to have to resort to the courtroom in the future. The resulting Marital Settlement Agreement is a compromise created by the parties which results in significantly greater compliance. --- - Published: 2016-10-06 - Modified: 2016-10-28 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/preserve-relationships/ Throughout the mediation process we use problem solving techniques that often help avoid conflict in the future. We use ground rules and create a safe environment for participants to work through difficult issues in a respectful, private and constructive process. With a professional third party in the room, clients often find ways to communicate more effectively during the mediation process. In particular, when participants have children and/or ongoing relationships, they have an opportunity to put their best foot forward during a difficult time rather than choosing the more adversarial court litigation process. Placing a dollar value on a destroyed relationship is impossible. Confrontational court battles damage important relationships. Since litigation often degenerates into something resembling warfare. In mediation, the principals sit together, communicate about their dispute and collaborate on a resolution. Because the parties work together on a solution in a non-adversarial process, there is a greater likelihood of maintaining a working relationship even though the marriage has ended. Individuals in conflict have the opportunity to preserve or even improve their working and/or co-parenting relationship as a result of using mediation. Mediation reduces the emotional cost of resolving disputes. Litigation is focused on the dispute. The objective of the litigation process is to determine who did what to whom. Spending time and energy pointing the finger or reveling in fault and blame is emotionally destructive. In mediation, the focus is on finding solutions to establish a plan of action for the future. In an adversarial proceeding, each party is driven... --- - Published: 2016-10-06 - Modified: 2016-10-28 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/our-process-3/maintain-control/ Mediation participants retain control over the timing and terms of the Marital Settlement Agreement rather than handing over the decision making to lawyers and judges. The participants in mediation maintain control over the timing, scheduling of meetings, substantive decision making and final outcome. Mediation is voluntary and each party must agree to work in good faith to arrive at decisions that will be acceptable to both parties. Your attorney mediator will help participants communicate productively at the mediation table so that you may determine for yourself how you wish to proceed and keep the process moving. The participants are the final decision makers. You are empowered with information about the relevant law you need to make decisions for your family and yourself about the best way to move forward independently in a well-balanced, private atmosphere. Your neutral attorney mediator will provide legal information and creative options to facilitate productive communication between the participants at the table. While some people may enjoy the battle and thrive on conflict, most find it stressful and even traumatic. You may avoid the anxiety of handing over control of these important decisions to lawyers and judges. Your attorney mediator is trained to work with both parties so that you retain greater control over the outcome. --- > We currently offer our divorce mediation services in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. View our office locations and reach out for a consultation. - Published: 2015-08-11 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/locations/ Our Divorce Mediation Locations We currently offer our divorce mediation services in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. We cover the following counties in Pennsylvania: Bucks, Chester, Delaware County, Montgomery, Lehigh, Northampton, and Philadelphia counties. In New Jersey we cover Burlington, Mercer and Somerset counties. Our conveniently located offices are below: Pennsylvania Huntingdon Valley, PA 67 Buck Road Huntingdon Valley, PA 19006 King of Prussia, PA 1150 1st Avenue Suite 501 King of Prussia, PA 19406 Newtown, PA 118 North State Street Newtown, PA 18940 Warrington, PA 1243 Easton Road Suite 203 Warrington, PA 18976 New Jersey Bridgewater, NJ 991 US Highway 22 Suite 200 Bridgewater, NJ 08807 Marlton, NJ 10,000 Lincoln Drive E One Greentree Centre, Suite 201 Marlton, NJ 08053 Princeton, NJ 300 Carnegie Center Drive Suite 150 Princeton, NJ 08540 --- - Published: 2015-03-10 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/about/ Bridging Communication ... giving new hope About Us Mediation Saves MoneyMediation is significantly less expensive than going to court. All parties work toward issue resolution NHDM uses a set fee-No retainer-No hourly rate Mediation takes less time which costs less money Single neutral attorney mediator rather than two litigation attorneys Mediation Saves TimeIn mediation, the participants are in control of the timing - not the Court. Mediation is efficient because your neutral attorney mediator will provide the legal information you need to facilitate productive communication between the participants at the table. Your attorney mediator is trained to help participants communicate productively at the mediation table so that you may determine for yourself how you wish to proceed and keep the process moving. PREPARING FOR MEDIATION One of the best ways to save time and money in mediation is to come prepared for each mediation session. We will tell you exactly what paperwork we will need from you to mediate your divorce. We create mediation books to organize your documentation and provide you with the law which is relevant to your matter. Follow up between mediation sessions is key. We will support you through every step of the process and provide you with the tools and information you will need to succeed in mediation. If you come to your mediation sessions prepared, you can complete your mediation quickly and efficiently. COMPARE TO LITIGATION When you are faced with the prospect of divorce you choose a path through the divorce process. You... --- > Contact New Hope Divorce Mediation through email or phone, or visit us at any of our New Jersey and Pennsylvania locations. Schedule online. - Published: 2015-03-10 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/contact/ Bridging Communication ... giving new hope CONTACT Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. LayoutFirst *Last *LayoutContact Phone *Contact Email *Address *Address Line 1City--- Select state ---AlabamaAlaskaArizonaArkansasCaliforniaColoradoConnecticutDelawareDistrict of ColumbiaFloridaGeorgiaHawaiiIdahoIllinoisIndianaIowaKansasKentuckyLouisianaMaineMarylandMassachusettsMichiganMinnesotaMississippiMissouriMontanaNebraskaNevadaNew HampshireNew JerseyNew MexicoNew YorkNorth CarolinaNorth DakotaOhioOklahomaOregonPennsylvaniaRhode IslandSouth CarolinaSouth DakotaTennesseeTexasUtahVermontVirginiaWashingtonWest VirginiaWisconsinWyomingStateCounty *Preferred Method of Contact *EmailPhoneBest Time to Reach You *9am - 11am11am - 2pm2pm - 5pmHow Can We Help You? *Submit Email Address info@newhopedivorcemediation. com Telephone (855) 928-2705 --- > Learn about divorce, divorce mediation, and divorcing as a parent in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, on the New Hope Divorce Mediation blog. - Published: 2015-03-10 - Modified: 2024-11-26 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/blog/ Divorce Mediation News & Education Latest from Blog Apr 26 Owner and Attorney-Mediator Karen Salib on Her Approach to Divorce Mediation Karen’s journey from litigator to leading her own divorce mediation practice that emphasizes compassionate, efficient conflict resolution. Read More about Owner and Attorney-Mediator Karen Salib on Her Approach to Divorce Mediation Dec 14 A New Beginning for New Hope Divorce Mediation Announcing Karen G. Salib, Esq. as the new owner and lead mediator of New Hope Divorce Mediation. Read More about A New Beginning for New Hope Divorce Mediation Nov 10 Divorce, College, and Retirement – How to Prioritize Putting a little away on a regular basis when your children are young which can accumulate over time can also pay off greatly, but only if you can afford it. Read More about Divorce, College, and Retirement – How to Prioritize Oct 13 Divorce and Your Credit What to do if your credit is affected by your ex-spouse not paying joint debt that they promised to pay during your divorce. Read More about Divorce and Your Credit Sep 15 Divorce and Social Security Benefits Covering common questions about social security eligibility post-divorce. Read More about Divorce and Social Security Benefits Aug 11 What Happens to Your Mortgage When You Get Divorced It is important to know when you are divorcing that the mortgage for your jointly owned home is contracted with both of you and your lender. Read More about What Happens to Your Mortgage When You Get Divorced 1... --- - Published: 2015-03-10 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/videos-testimonials/ Bridging Communication ... giving new hope WHAT CLIENTS ARE SAYING ~ J. V. ~ T. P. ~ K. K. ~ M. P. ~ B. K. ~ M. G. ~ M. S. ~ K. K. VIEW MORE --- --- ## Posts > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-06-06 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorcing-when-you-have-special-needs-children/ Divorce between couples who have children with special needs requires thoughtful mediation to create personalized solutions that support the whole family. When divorce involves children, it is already complex. But for families raising a child with special needs, the divorce process introduces an entirely different level of complexity. From custody arrangements and support decisions, to schooling and healthcare — all of these considerations become more significant when a child has unique needs. Traditional litigation often isn’t equipped to handle that level of complexity with the care it deserves. In these cases, divorce mediation can be particularly valuable. With a flexible, family-centered approach, mediation offers parents the ability to craft customized solutions that truly support their child’s well-being. In this conversation, mediator and former special education attorney Josh Kershenbaum shares his insight with NHDM owner Karen Salib on why mediation is especially valuable for families with children who have disabilities, and how the right divorce process can make all the difference in ensuring a stable, ideal arrangement for the child or children. https://www. youtube. com/watch? v=VTWgHvyelLg Transcript: Karen Salib (0:00) The Unique Challenges and Considerations of Divorce That Involves Children with Special Needs So, Josh, a question that we get asked all the time, and we've got people going through the divorce process, which is challenging enough as it is. You have people going through the divorce process that have children, which adds a different dynamic and a whole slew of additional concerns that can even be further complicated by families where they have children with special needs. So you have some unique insights and some experience here. What is your experience... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-05-05 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-do-divorce-mediators-stay-neutral/ Divorce mediators who listen, ask the right questions, and help you reach your own agreement without taking sides. As divorce mediators, we talk a lot about our commitment to being neutral, but not everyone understands what that means. A common misconception is that being neutral means being indifferent or detached. That couldn't be further from the truth. Neutrality isn’t about not caring, it’s about not taking sides. It’s about creating a space where both people are heard, respected, and empowered to reach an agreement. In this video, one of our attorney-mediators, Josh Kershenbaum, breaks down what it means to be neutral and why this is beneficial for couples going through divorce mediation. https://youtu. be/b4feyIdRhHo Transcript: Josh Kershenbaum (0:00) Why Neutrality is Important for Divorce Mediation So I think the first thing to say about neutrality is that there's a lot of misconceptions about what it means. The most important thing to understand is that when a mediator says they're neutral, it doesn't mean that they don't care. Neutrality does not mean indifference. Neutrality means that we're not taking sides. We're not putting our finger on the scale in favor of one spouse over the other. We're not helping one spouse strategize or gain advantage over the other. Neutrality means that we view ourselves as neutral facilitators. We see that the focus of the mediation is the participants. They're the ones who are creating the agreement. They're the ones who know best what works for them and their families. So when a mediator is neutral, a mediator is saying, you guys, you participants, you are the ones who matter.... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-03-14 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-long-does-divorce-mediation-take/ Learn how long divorce mediation takes compared to traditional divorce litigation, and why mediation is a faster, more less stressful option. When considering divorce, one of the biggest concerns is how long the process will take. Litigation can stretch on for years, dragging couples through endless court dates, legal filings, and mounting expenses. Mediation, on the other hand, offers a much more efficient path — one that puts control back in the hands of the couple. Unlike litigation, where court schedules dictate the pace, mediation allows couples to work through their divorce on their own timeline. In many cases, the process can be completed in as little as six to nine months, a fraction of the time compared to traditional litigation. But what does that timeline actually look like? And what factors can influence the duration? Let’s break down the mediation process step by step and explore why it’s often the faster, less stressful option for resolving a divorce. Transcript: Karen Salib (0:00) Why Divorce Litigation is a Lengthy Process To answer the question of how long the mediation process takes, I think it's important to understand what the alternative is and to understand the litigation process. So when you're involved in a litigation process, there are just certain steps that you need to go through in order to move your matter forward through the courts. So when we're talking about litigation through the court, and, you know, I have sort of firsthand experience being a divorce litigator for about 10 years, that process can be incredibly lengthy. There are just certain steps that we have to go through as attorneys.... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2025-02-06 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-does-the-filing-process-work-for-divorce-mediation/ At New Hope Divorce Mediation, you don't have go through this process alone. We provide assistance with your pro se divorce filings and important information about the process. After your divorce mediation reaches a successful resolution, your financial agreement and parenting plan must be drafted into formal legal documents called a Marital Settlement Agreement and Custody Stipulation or Custody and Parenting Time Agreement. Once these documents are reviewed, approved, and signed, the next (and likely, final) step in the divorce process is the filing of your divorce documents with the Court for entry of your Divorce Decree or Judgment of Divorce. In Pennsylvania and New Jersey, the Courts allow couples seeking a divorce to file their divorce documents "pro se", meaning on your own. While you certainly can hire an attorney to assist you with this process, you are not required to do so. At New Hope Divorce Mediation, you don't have go through this process alone. We provide assistance with your pro se divorce filings and important information about the process. Confused about the specifics? Curious about the differences between Pennsylvania and New Jersey filing processes? Want to know how New Hope Divorce Mediation goes the extra mile to assist you? Watch our latest video for detailed insights into the filing process and the comprehensive support we offer. Transcript: Josh Kershenbaum (0:00) - The Pennsylvania Divorce Filing Process After all of the mediation sessions are complete, and you have reached your agreements, and we have written your agreement up into your actual marital settlement agreements, and you have signed the agreements - you have a binding legal contract with each other. It's your binding legal financial agreement... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2024-12-17 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/attorney-mediators-vs-mediators-whats-the-difference/ Learn about the difference in the roles played by mediators and attorney-mediators, and why you might consider an attorney-mediator for your divorce. When faced with the prospect of getting divorced, deciding how to move ahead can be overwhelming and difficult. Choosing divorce mediation over traditional divorce through the courts can save you time and money by prioritizing open communication and collaboration to help you reach an amicable agreement. But even if you’ve decided to go with divorce mediation already, another choice comes down to whether you work with an attorney-mediator or a non-attorney mediator. This article will explore the nuances of divorce mediation, the roles played by mediators and attorney-mediators, and why you might consider an attorney-mediator for your divorce. But first, let’s go over what divorce mediation is and the role the mediator takes in facilitating the divorce. What is Divorce Mediation? Divorce mediation is an alternative to divorcing in court, where a neutral third party, the mediator, helps divorcing couples reach an agreement amicably. Unlike traditional divorce proceedings that often involve lengthy and contentious court battles, mediation focuses on collaboration and open communication. This approach not only saves time and reduces the emotional strain on both participants, but also gives them more control over the outcomes of their divorce. What Does a Divorce Mediator Do? The role of a divorce mediator is fundamentally that of a facilitator. Mediators guide discussions, ensure that each person is heard, and help manage any conflicts that arise during negotiations. Importantly, while mediators assist in reaching an agreement, they do not make decisions for the couple. Instead, they encourage the participants to come up with... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2024-11-20 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-much-does-divorce-mediation-cost/ Discover how much divorce mediation costs compared to a litigated divorce, and learn about our fees at New Hope Divorce Mediation. No matter what process you choose for your divorce, cost is an important factor to consider carefully and as early as possible. At New Hope Divorce Mediation, our comprehensive flat-fee is a cornerstone of our commitment to offering you a divorce process that is both predictable in cost, and dramatically less expensive than litigating through attorneys. Why NHDM Mediation is Much More Predictable and Much Less Expensive than Litigation Litigation costs are so high mostly because a litigated divorce is not efficient and divorce attorneys charge hundreds of dollars an hour for their time. The more billable hours that go into your divorce process, the more expensive your divorce will be. Since litigated divorces typically require both you and your spouse to have attorneys, this multiplies the rate at which dollars are flowing out of your marital estate and to the attorneys you and your spouse are paying for representation. By contrast, mediation allows you to minimize billable hourly attorney costs and to share in the modest flat-fee expense of a single mediator. Our mediation process is extremely efficient, offering you a way to get divorced with dignity and professional assistance, but without unnecessary hourly fees from attorneys. In this article, we’ll cover what makes our fee structure unique, some of the costs you and your spouse can expect as you begin mediation, and how litigation fees compare. How the Cost of Divorce Mediation is Determined One of our goals at New Hope Divorce Mediation is to provide divorcing couples... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2024-11-06 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-is-divorce-mediation/ Learn what divorce mediation is and how it can help you and your spouse reach an amicable agreement outside of court. Watch our mediators Josh and Karen discuss the benefits of divorce mediation Each person who makes the decision to end their marriage deserves access to a dignified divorce process — and for many, divorce mediation provides just that. Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through, but with the help of a skilled, neutral mediator, you’ll receive the support you need to reach an amicable agreement on the issues that matter most. What is Divorce Mediation? Divorce mediation allows you and your spouse to choose a skilled, neutral facilitator to help you settle your divorce outside of the court system and to negotiate issues such as child custody and support, alimony, and division and distribution of marital property and debts. For divorce mediation to work well, both spouses have to agree to participate in it. The good news, however, is that when they do, mediation can help divorcing couples reach amicable agreements that meet their needs — and the needs of their children — without the additional stress of court. What Does a Divorce Mediator Do? A qualified mediator will guide you and your spouse with the goal of helping you amicably resolve the issues in your divorce, both in the immediate and long-term. Your mediator will help you communicate with each other to develop your own practical solutions to the complex challenges presented by your divorce. They will also work to ensure that both of you have a voice throughout the resolution process. If... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2024-04-26 - Modified: 2024-11-26 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/karen-salib-approach-to-divorce-mediation/ Karen's journey from litigator to leading her own divorce mediation practice that emphasizes compassionate, efficient conflict resolution. I came to fully embrace divorce mediation as my professional calling after nearly 10 years as a divorce and custody litigator. While I enjoyed the rigor and discipline required for adversarial practice, I ultimately found traditional divorce litigation to be unsatisfying for many of the same reasons as the parties typically do. The litigation process is inefficient, wastes resources, and is destructive to relationships. I knew there was a better way for me to serve divorcing couples, especially parents. My goal in making the move to a full-time divorce mediation practice was, therefore, to leverage my experience to help people in the best way I know how — through sitting down with open minds and facilitating discussions that help divorcing couples find common ground. Owning my own mediation practice was a natural transition. By the time I took the reins at New Hope Divorce Mediation, I had already helped to build and manage a successful multi-state divorce and custody mediation practice that was owned by others. This gave me the experience and confidence to set out to achieve my long standing dream of establishing and growing my own practice. I felt that blazing my own trail would give me the professional and creative freedom to serve families in accordance with my values, strengths, and vision. Of course, a little luck never hurts, and I was extremely lucky that the opportunity to acquire an established and respected mediation practice in my community came along just at the right time. I was... --- > Meet our network of trusted professionals who will support you before, during, and after your divorce mediation process. - Published: 2023-12-14 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-ownership-at-new-hope-divorce-mediation/ Announcing Karen G. Salib, Esq. as the new owner and lead mediator of New Hope Divorce Mediation. We are excited to announce that Karen G. Salib, Esq. is the new owner and leader of New Hope Divorce Mediation, proudly carrying the torch passed to her from its original founder, Mindey Elgart, Esq. A distinguished graduate of Temple University’s Beasley School of Law and the University of Pittsburgh, Karen proudly continues her decades of service to our region’s families, a journey she began as a teacher and has continued as a family law attorney and mediator. With Karen at the helm, New Hope Divorce Mediation begins its latest chapter of delivering the highest quality, most comprehensive professional divorce mediation services in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. At the heart of this thriving practice is her vision that everyone who makes the difficult decision to get divorced should have access to a dignified divorce process. Karen’s philosophy is rooted in her belief and experience that people know what they and their children need better than courts do, and that — with skillful support and guidance from an attorney mediator – most people can reach enduring agreements without wasteful, destructive, adversarial court proceedings. “Our job as professional mediators is to bring out the best in people,” says Karen, “to leverage the inherent capacity in all of us to be curious, compassionate, and creative with one another, especially when entrenched in deep conflict. ” Learn more about Karen’s background and mediation experience on our team page. New Hope Divorce Mediation’s New Team It takes a skillful team of compassionate professionals to support... --- > The author of this article is a Certified Divorce Financial Planner who I respect greatly. She advises prioritizing saving for retirement. - Published: 2021-11-10 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-college-and-retirement-how-to-prioritize/ Putting a little away on a regular basis when your children are young which can accumulate over time can also pay off greatly, but only if you can afford it. The author of this article is a Certified Divorce Financial Planner which I respect greatly. She advises prioritizing saving for retirement. In a perfect world putting a little away on a regular basis when your children are young which can accumulate over time can also pay off greatly, but only if you can afford it. I also want to note that in New Jersey you are required to contribute to your child’s college education if he/she begins right after high school so that is important to bear in mind as well when planning for your and your family’s financial future. --- > What to do if your credit is affected by your ex-spouse not paying joint debt that they promised to pay during your divorce. - Published: 2021-10-13 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-credit/ What to do if your credit is affected by your ex-spouse not paying joint debt that they promised to pay during your divorce. This article addresses what to do if your credit is affected by your ex-spouse not paying joint debt that he/she promised to pay during your divorce. This concern should be addressed in writing in your Settlement Agreement to make sure that your credit is not impacted. Make sure that your name is removed from any joint obligations that are the responsibility of the alternate party. Make sure that you have access to any debt statement that contains your name so that you may continuously monitor the debt status. These issues/concerns should be addressed during your negotiations and the drafting of your legally sound Settlement Agreement. --- > This article provides some helpful information about the availability of collecting social security benefits as a divorced spouse if you qualify. - Published: 2021-09-15 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-social-security-benefits/ Covering common questions about social security eligibility post-divorce. This article provides some helpful information about the availability of collecting social security benefits as a divorced spouse if you qualify, i. e. being married for 10 years or more in an amount up to 50% of the alternate spouse’s benefit without affecting the divorced spouse’s benefit amount. The article also mentions some of the information about getting remarried affecting your benefit. One point it doesn’t cover is the exception to the remarriage issue which is if you remarry after age 60, then you have the choice to still collect under your former spouse’s benefit. --- > It is important to know when you are divorcing that the mortgage for your jointly owned home is contracted with both of you and your lender. - Published: 2021-08-11 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-happens-to-your-mortgage-when-you-get-divorced/ It is important to know when you are divorcing that the mortgage for your jointly owned home is contracted with both of you and your lender. It is important to know when you are divorcing that the mortgage for your jointly owned home is contracted with both of you and your lender. Therefore, your lender needs to be a part of any changes that you make. While this article suggests refinancing, you can also speak with your current lender about the possibility of a release/assumption of liability in order to take the marital residence liability from joint names into one spouse’s name alone. I call this ‘refinance light’ since you will still have to qualify in your name alone, but it is less of a burden and expense than a refinance. That being said, there are several factors to consider in determining which path is best for your circumstances. Something else to keep in mind that people don’t usually know is that while the note on your mortgage (your personal promise to pay) may be in one spouse’s name, if the deed/ownership of the property is joint, then the mortgage used to secure the property is in joint names also. People often want to use a quitclaim deed to transfer ownership of the property thinking that the liability for the alternate spouse has been removed, but that is not the case. The joint mortgage still remains in his/her name unless the lender is involved in the removal. Learn more about What to Do About Your Mortgage When You're Getting Divorced here. --- > It is important to make sure that you feel comfortable with your divorce mediator. - Published: 2021-07-14 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-you-should-know-about-divorce-mediation/ It is important to make sure that you feel comfortable with your divorce mediator. I think that the two most important features you should look for in the divorce mediator you choose are; 1. their professional expertise; and 2. empathy. You need to be comfortable expressing yourself. That being said, the ground rules of treating all the parties with respect are important to the success of the process. With the advent of more virtual mediations since COVID entered our world the point that you need to attend without distractions and multi-tasking has become an additional point of guidance in the mediation process. I have encountered a participant trying to cook or drive during a session. I understand that children and dogs need what they need when they need it. However, to the greatest extent possible, it is important to participate with full attention and minimal distractions. This article, Legal Advice and Other Items to Consider for Divorce Mediation, provides some items to consider during your mediated divorce. --- > Hold your children and their needs above everything else throughout your divorce and while co-parenting, and the rest of the details will be worked out. - Published: 2021-06-09 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-what-you-should-know/ If I had the power to proclaim one rule unbreakable in the divorce process, it would be that nothing about the process, finances, the other party’s failings, the wins, or losses, would ever be discussed within earshot of the children. These are adult matters and should remain that way. The ones who are hurt most by the breakage of this rule are the children. The tips in this article are helpful in that regard. Some control of the parenting process is lost when you divorce. Each parent has the right to structure the day-to-day rules in his/her own home as they think is best for the children so long as they are safe. It is the big picture, overarching decisions that need to be discussed and agreed upon. Hold your children and their needs above everything else throughout your divorce and while co-parenting, and the rest of the details will be worked out. This article, 5 Myths About Co-Parenting After Divorce, provides some great tips on how to co-parent during your divorce. --- > The most productive way to get through your divorce grief is to choose to move on and implement positive and constructive methods to meet your goals. - Published: 2021-05-12 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/getting-through-your-divorce/ The most productive way to get through your divorce grief is to choose to move on and implement positive and constructive methods to meet your goals. Going it alone can be very lonely. Creating a network of support and implementing the strategies listed in this article can get you to the finish line more quickly to create your new reality of a stronger, more independent future. This article, 7 Tools to Help You Get Through Your Divorce Grief, provides some great tools to help you overcome your divorce grief. --- > There are plenty of steps to take to boost your self-esteem. - Published: 2021-04-21 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/boosting-self-esteem-after-divorce/ It’s time to remind yourself of who you are now that you are on your own. There are plenty of steps to take to boost your self-esteem. Check out this article for a few tips. --- > Reinvigorate yourself with self-care and reestablishing old friendships. - Published: 2021-04-07 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-to-reinvigorate-your-life-after-divorce/ You may want to force yourself to focus forward. You may now make your own decision about renovating your home if you can afford it or make your surroundings your own however you can. This article provides some helpful tips about reinvigorating yourself with self-care and reestablishing old friendships. --- > While many fear the unknown financially and otherwise, it is also an opportunity to take control and be the CEO of your own independent financial household. - Published: 2021-03-10 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-finances/ This article outlines some wise steps for moving forward after divorce. While many fear the unknown financially and otherwise, it is also an opportunity to take control and be the CEO of your own independent financial household. --- > Both New Jersey and Pennsylvania are equitable distribution states. As such, retirement assets earned during the marriage are marital property subject to equitable distribution. - Published: 2021-02-10 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-does-divorce-affect-your-retirement/ Both New Jersey and Pennsylvania are equitable distribution states. As such, retirement assets earned during the marriage are marital property subject to equitable distribution. Likewise, retirement assets earned prior to or after the marriage are excluded. It is very important, as this article outlines, that your retirement assets are transferred correctly so that you are not penalized or taxed unknowingly. These transfers are done regularly with the property guidance. --- > While it is important to respect each other through the co-parenting partnership, the COVID pandemic stresses these agreements. - Published: 2021-01-13 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/ Disagreement regarding parenting time and pandemic guidelines is rising to the surface as a significant point of disagreement during this unprecedented time. I think the primary focus as divorced parents seek common ground is RESPECT. While it is important to respect each other through the co-parenting partnership, the COVID pandemic stresses these agreements because your life and/or health and that of your child are at the forefront of each parent’s concerns. I would suggest at a minimum to follow the CDC and state-mandated guidelines as a starting point. Any additional restrictions should be met with an understanding of each other’s concerns with your children’s well-being as your primary guide. Whatever you decide, do not disparage the alternate parent’s position. Such remarks will not serve your children’s best interests. To learn more tips on how to co-parent during the challenges of COVID-19 read this article, "Coparenting During and After the COVID-19 Pandemic. " --- - Published: 2020-12-17 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-to-manage-your-emotions-when-co-parenting/ This article lays out some great tips for taking the reactive emotion out of co-parenting. The tips, however, are universal and particularly helpful when transitioning into your independent life. As a mediator, I see broken down and/or reactive communication daily. As an example, this article addresses everyone wanting to be right. My belief is that if I am wrong, I have the power to change it. It works so much better when you can have dominion over making positive change. Also, try to detach and not react. Accept that some hard feelings will never be resolved with the ex-spouse. Generally speaking, whether you say it once or ten times, the ex is not going to fix your upset. I know it isn’t easy but these tips are helpful in co-parenting and in life as a whole... a very helpful article. --- > While divorce often feels like a loss as you are going through it, you may also work on rediscovering who you were before things went off track, who you have become, or who you want to be on the other side of the divorce process. - Published: 2020-11-12 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/boosting-your-self-esteem-after-divorce/ While divorce often feels like a loss as you are going through it, you may also work on rediscovering who you were before things went off track, who you have become, or who you want to be on the other side of the divorce process. There are several very specific steps outlined in this article that may guide you on the path back to a healthier, stronger you. --- > This article provides wise guidance addressing how you interact with your children on the topic of your ex during and after your divorce. - Published: 2020-10-14 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-and-your-childrens-feelings/ This article provides wise guidance addressing how you interact with your children on the topic of your ex during and after your divorce. The starting point is to never speak ill of the child’s other parent (your ex), but that’s just the starting point. This article provides a great check on whether you are interacting with your children in their best interests or whether you are projecting your concerns or upset feelings onto them. Generally I suggest that questions are answered clearly without biased commentary and only to the extent asked so as to not travel down an uninvited path. This writer takes this analysis further in checking in with your own body’s internal reaction for a check on whether you are dealing with your feelings or your child’s. This is another first step in prioritizing and acting truly in your children’s best interest. --- > While I do love meeting with people and mediating that way, I have found that video conferencing is much more personal and connected than I would have thought. - Published: 2020-09-16 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/online-mediation-spikes-for-divorce-in-covid-19/ I had always thought that it was necessary to meet people in person in order to mediate. While I do love meeting with people and mediating that way, I have found that video conferencing is much more personal and connected than I would have thought. Necessity is, of course, the mother of invention. I had never hear of Zoom last February and now I find it to be simple and personal. I am still able to stay in touch with body language... if someone wants to ask a question, etc. Mediating online is working out quite well and I find that some people prefer it... as the article says... the commute is far better. --- > Taking time to enjoy who you are with some added peace is a positive step in the healing process. - Published: 2020-08-12 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/staying-mindful-in-your-divorce/ While it is important to focus on the divorce process as you are going though it, there is a line in this article that isn’t often discussed which captures the positivity of the process as you begin living your separate, independent life. “etting back to who you were is a reminder of who you are at your core. ” There is a comfort in remembering and welcoming back the person you know you were before your marriage. Now you are wiser and you will incorporate the lessons learned, but taking time to enjoy who you are with some added peace is a positive step in the healing process. --- - Published: 2020-07-16 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/will-divorce-soar-at-the-end-of-the-quarantine/ I have been wondering about this since the pandemic began... will divorces skyrocket when the crisis and/or quarantine is behind us? This article suggests what I have been thinking all along, "Either (the crisis) brings them together or it makes them realize they need to get out because life is too short. ” If your marriage was teetering on the edge of divorce, then the close quarters and additional stresses (i. e. financial stressors from job loss or differences regarding the children), will likely exacerbate already existing cracks... or chasms in the marriage. --- > In order to continue to provide mediation services through the pandemic, I have taken to using video conferencing on a regular basis. - Published: 2020-06-11 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-tele-mediation/ In order to continue to provide mediation services through the pandemic, I have taken to using video conferencing on a regular basis. I find empathy and connection to be such an important part of the mediation process that I was concerned about using the computer as a communication medium. My concern was misplaced. I have found that much if not all of the same connection can be found through our video conferences. It has become a very convenient option. People like it because they may participate from the comfort of their own homes without the hassle of the commute. For me, I enjoy meeting people’s pets and sometimes getting a deeper sense of my clients by communicating with them in their natural setting. I have had couples participate with coffee and wine—of course one spouse drinking red and the other white! To learn more about tele-mediation read this article, "Tele-Mediation: A Game Changer for Divorcing Couples. " --- > These are fabulous suggestions for moving forward after divorce. - Published: 2020-05-14 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/moving-forward-after-divorce/ These are fabulous suggestions for moving forward after divorce. 1. You are allowed to grieve. It is almost impossible not to regardless of whether you were the initiator. 2. Prioritize your children’s future. 3. Get on top of running your financially independent household. That doesn’t mean you are not receiving or paying support. It means thriving within your budget. 4. Bring friends and family, who support your healthy growth, into your life on a more frequent basis. 5. Whether it is a therapist or a financial planner, having information and knowledge for moving forward is calming. 6. New romance is great, but make sure to learn who you are again first... you will have a better shot at a healthier relationship this time around. 7. Taking time for yourself—self-explanatory. 8. Forgive. Have you heard the story of drinking poison and waiting for the snake to die? This is the path to your own release. To read more about how to rebuild yourself after divorce read "8 Steps to Rebuild Yourself After a Divorce. " --- > Remember that if you “bash your ex” or soon to be ex, then you are criticizing 50% of your child. - Published: 2020-04-09 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/what-you-shouldnt-tell-your-kids-about-your-divorce/ I love this article because it encapsulates my pet peeves. Remember that if you “bash your ex” or soon to be ex, then you are criticizing 50% of your child. The parent who does not speak ill of the other parent will ‘win’ in the end as your child will ‘get it’ when they get older and appreciate you for it. Also remember they are your CHILDREN, not your friend. They are not the receptacle of your adult issues and concerns. Let them be CHILDREN. --- > I agree that counseling for your child can be very helpful while you are going through the transition of divorce. - Published: 2020-03-12 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/helping-your-child-deal-with-your-divorce/ There are three important points I want to point out from the topics addressed in this article. 1. I agree that counseling for your child can be very helpful while you are going through the transition of divorce. Many children are afraid, or concerned about, hurting their parent’s feelings so they can’t share the truth of how they are honestly feeling with either of you. It is a great value for the child to have someone to talk to whose feelings they don’t have to worry about hurting. 2. Yes it may be important not to spoil a child with things while going through the divorce process out of guilt, or for whatever reason, but you can’t spoil your child with the gift of extra time and attention. 3. It is important, and very helpful for your child’s sake, to be flexible and generous with your parenting time schedule. Life happens. Let little things go and your kindness and generosity should come back to you over time. --- > This is sometimes a complex issue which is an important topic of conversation in mediation. - Published: 2020-02-12 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/student-loans-and-divorce/ This is sometimes a complex issue which is an important topic of conversation in mediation. More often than not in mediation the party with the student debt retains the debt in his or her name even if it is in exchange for another item of consideration, but the law regarding the responsibility for student debt sometimes depends on what the funds were used for (i. e. living expenses vs. tuition), but in any case, the allocation of the responsibility depends on the law of your state. To learn more about student debt and how it can affect your divorce, read "What Happens to Student Loans in Divorce? " --- > Investing in your health leads to self-confidence and exponential dividends in your future. - Published: 2020-01-31 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/investing-in-your-health-after-divorce/ Investing in your health leads to self-confidence and exponential dividends in your future. For tips on how to boost your health after divorce, check out this article, "Importance of Investing in Your Health After Divorce. " --- - Published: 2019-10-17 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/gray-divorce-what-you-should-know/ You probably have a lot invested in a long term marriage. When facing divorce the same rules apply, such as getting educated with information about your rights and your assets. If you don’t want to spend your golden years fighting with each other, mediation is a wonderful alternative. Just make sure that you feel fully informed and comfortable with your professionally trained and experienced mediator. For more tips on a gray divorce check out the article, "Show Me the Money: How to Protect Yourself in Gray Divorce. " --- - Published: 2019-09-12 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/losses-in-divorce-what-you-should-know/ The losses listed in this article are tough. There is a silver lining in each of them. First of all, the give and take with time with your children can turn out to be a good thing once to make peace with the new routine. The time without your children can give you time to yourself, to grow, heal, work on yourself or just get some errands out of the way. Then when your children come back to you, you can be more refreshed and ready to take on the time you have together with renewed vigor. As far as sharing your children’s triumphs, that is one of the many reasons I am such an advocate for mediation. That shouldn’t stop. You will both always be the parents of your children and no one will experience the joys of your children’s triumphs more than their other parent. You may lose your live in fix-it person, but you will become more self-reliant, even if it does come down to having the handy person’s number on speed dial. You will make new memories and new experiences so long as you are open to the opportunities that come your way or that you make. You may have less money, but you will also have more control. Embrace it. Your future has been altered from what you expected, but it is not as bleak as you may think at first. It is an opportunity for change. Make it what you will. To learn more... --- > It is always important to understand the finances surrounding your home, lifestyle and paying the bills. - Published: 2019-08-15 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/financial-settlements-after-divorce/ I think it is always important to understand the finances surrounding your home, lifestyle and paying the bills. If you haven’t been engaged, if that wasn’t your share of the household chores, now is the time. You will need to know all of these facts and figures to move forward. Get help, get informed... it will get easier, but you need to do the work, take the time and learn the financial details. To learn more about your financial settlements after divorce read, "What You Need to Know About Financial Settlements After Divorce. " --- - Published: 2019-07-18 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/tips-for-making-divorce-more-tolerable/ These are all great tips. Yes, lean on your friends and family... don’t shut yourself off. However, the people in your life bring with them their own life experiences. A therapist is focusing on your and hopefully—a good one—will provide guidance through this unsettled time without bringing his or her baggage to the table. “Make new memories... exercise, getting out of your house and thereby out of your head is nothing but healthy while your new circumstances settle. “Focus on what is important... Be Patient... Forgive”—all wrapped into one. Be good to your self and perhaps, more importantly, your children if you have them. It does your children no good to feel your anger. Your healing is a function of time. Give it time, engage in healthy activities, work with support to embrace your transition. You will feel better. For more tips on how to get through your divorce read, "10 Practical Tips to Make Divorce More Tolerable. " --- - Published: 2019-06-20 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/updating-important-information-during-your-divorce/ Updating your beneficiary information is very important. Even if you want to retain your former spouse as your beneficiary for the benefit of your children, or to protect an ex from the loss of an alimony obligation, you should update your beneficiary designations after your Decree has been issued so that there is no dispute over your intentions or subsequent litigation. For more information on what documents you should update during your divorce read, "Individual Divorce Tasks: Updating Important Information. " --- - Published: 2019-05-15 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-health/ Due in large part to greater acceptance, more and more studies show that a healthy divorce is much better for your health and your family than an unhealthy marriage. To learn more about how divorce can affect your health read, "Can Divorce Make You Healthier? " --- > One tip that may be helpful is speaking with the guidance counselor at your child’s school about your divorce so that he or she may help be your eyes and ears while your child is at school. - Published: 2019-04-17 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/anxiety-in-children-during-divorce/ One tip that may be helpful is speaking with the guidance counselor at your child’s school about your divorce so that he or she may help be your eyes and ears while your child is at school. To learn more about early intervention to prevent anxiety disorders in children read, "Divorce and Anxiety in Children and Teens. " --- > There are three important components to marital residence real estate ownership which must be addressed when there is a change of ownership during divorce. - Published: 2019-03-13 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/real-estate-mistakes-and-divorce/ There are three important components to marital residence real estate ownership which must be addressed when there is a change of ownership during divorce. A Marital Settlement Agreement can only bind the parties to the divorce so what does this mean to you? Make sure that if you are the party residing outside the marital residence and your interest is being bought out by the alternate party, your name must be removed from the mortgage, note and deed. Often both parties’ names are on the mortgage and deed, but not on the note. Transferring the deed into one party’s name doesn’t remove the alternate party’s name from the mortgage or liability on the property without the lender removing his or her name through a formal process. To gain a better understanding about real estate and divorce read, "Real Estate Mistakes You Don't Want to Make in a Divorce. " --- > With the new Tax and Jobs Act, the tax treatment of alimony has changed, but so have the formulas and/or considerations for calculating alimony payments. - Published: 2019-02-13 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-alimony/ With the new Tax and Jobs Act, the tax treatment of alimony has changed, but so have the formulas and/or considerations for calculating alimony payments. To learn more read the article, "Is Divorce Becoming a Tax Strategy Game? " --- > Remember that your children are 50% of each parent. - Published: 2019-01-16 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/helping-your-teen-cope-with-post-divorce-challenges/ Remember that your children are 50% of each parent. If you insult or criticize the other parent, you are hurting that part of your child. Every child wants to love both parents. And please don’t discuss your divorce or any other adult issues with your teenager. They may seem grown up to you, but teenagers are children. For more great tips check out the article, "8 Tips to Help Your Teen Cope with Post-Divorce Challenges . " --- - Published: 2018-12-12 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/emotional-abuse-and-divorce/ An argument is not emotional abuse so where do you draw the line? The following article, "When Is It Emotional Abuse? ," outlines what emotional abuse is: a painful and serious behavioral pattern in which the primary effort is for the abuser to control their partner by manipulating their emotions. --- - Published: 2018-11-14 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/should-you-divorce/ Getting divorced is a big step. I consider divorce a life transition which is one reason that the divorce mediation process is helpful--so that you don’t stagnate in the long drawn out process of litigating your divorce. The following article, "Should You Divorce? 12 Questions to Consider," includes some insightful questions to ask yourself before taking this significant step. When you are clear about your reasons and your decision to divorce you won’t look back on your decision with regrets. --- - Published: 2018-10-17 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/assets-and-your-divorce/ Make sure that when you are deciding whether you or your children’s needs are best served by retaining your martial residence or agreeing to offset a liquid asset against an illiquid retirement asset, that you consider your need for access to cash and the tax ramifications of your decisions. You should address these concerns with your divorce mediator, your accountant or a financial planner. This article, "Are All Assets Equal in Your Divorce? ," explains more about two major issues to consider when dividing marital assets. --- - Published: 2018-09-12 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/learning-to-make-ends-meet-after-divorce/ It is a fact that it costs more to financially support two households than it costs to support one. It is usually financially tight when divorced spouses first strike out on their own. Things usually get better once you settle in, balance your budget and operate within your means. The good news is that you will have full control over how your money is spent and your overall financial household. Item #7 in the article, "7 Ways to Rebuild Your Financial Life Post-Divorce" is “Learn. ” It is listed last. Read from the bottom up and learn first, then the rest should fall into place. --- - Published: 2018-08-15 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-support-team/ Make sure you choose the divorce process that best suits your approach. For instance, make sure that your attorney or mediator explains the answers to your questions clearly and has the patience to explain until you understand clearly. It is also important to have the support of friends and family. Be careful and mindful though that their experience is not yours, which makes it all the more important that you are comfortable and trust your professionals. Learn How to Create Your Divorce Support Team here. --- - Published: 2018-07-18 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/never-speak-ill-of-the-other-parent/ As you can see from the article below, there is a name for it, ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome’. You may no longer love or like (you may even hate) your prior spouse, but your children do. Your children are 50% of each of you and if you insult the other parent, you are insulting/hurting your child. Your children want to love both of you, and you always want to do what’s in their best interests. They will appreciate you for it in the long run. To learn more about Parental Alienation Syndrome read, "Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Is It , and Who Does It? " --- - Published: 2018-06-20 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/life-insurance-in-divorce/ It is important that you maintain life insurance with the children named as beneficiaries and the alternate spouse as trustee (via UTMA or otherwise) so that in the event that one spouse dies during the child support term, that the support intended for the children remains in place. The reason for naming the alternate spouse as trustee for the children is so that the remaining parent is able to use that money for raising the children and so that the divorced spouse doesn’t have to beg a sister or grandparent for money to raise his or her own children. The former family members may not look kindly on the remaining parent due to the divorce. In addition, it is important to maintain life insurance with the prior spouse as beneficiary to cover the alimony term. In either case, if one of the divorcing parties is counting on financial support, that obligation should be secured through life insurance. To gain a better understanding of why life insurance is an important part of a divorce read, "How Life Insurance Works in a Divorce. " --- - Published: 2018-05-16 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/financial-decisions-after-divorce/ During the divorce mediation process, we explore finances to ensure that you are able to afford the decisions you are currently making. A financial planner can help you extrapolate that information so that you are prepared for your future and your family’s future. Ask your friends for recommendations and work with someone who aligns with your style and preferred approach. There are certified divorce financial planners with training and experience who specialize in setting up individuals in precisely this circumstance. The tips in this article can provide you with next steps once you receive your divorce financial settlement. --- - Published: 2018-04-18 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-and-your-credit-score/ If one person is taking sole responsibility for the joint mortgage or any other joint debt as part of the overall agreement of the divorcing couple, it is important for the alternate spouse to have access to the account and ongoing statements during the period of joint ownership. It is important to understand the risk of allowing your name to remain on a joint debt that the alternate spouse is in control of paying in a timely manner. Make sure that you are aware of the specific terms of your agreement and have access to the account so that you can trust and verify. Make sure you are clear regarding the terms you are agreeing to pertaining to individual responsibility for any joint debt. "What a divorce can do to your credit," is a great article to read to help you gain a better understanding of how divorce can affect your credit score. --- - Published: 2018-03-21 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-tax-law-will-affect-alimony/ An important change is coming in divorce law as a result of the new tax act. Alimony payments have been deductible to the payor and taxable to the payee for the past 75 years. As a result of the new tax act, alimony will no longer be deductible by the payor or taxable to the payee if a Settlement Agreement is signed after 12/31/18. If this is something you are counting on, you should review your divorce/alimony options prior to the end of 2018. Read more about this tax change in this article, Here's how the tax plan could change divorce in a big way. --- - Published: 2018-03-14 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-shared-parenting/ Courts are supporting shared parenting arrangements with both parents significantly involved more and more. As you can see from the article, "After divorce, shared parenting is best for children’s health and development," the psychological research shows that significant time with both parents profoundly helps your children. --- - Published: 2018-02-15 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/tips-reduce-stress-divorce/ The article, Reduce the Stress of a Divorce, addresses some well-advised coping techniques for going through a divorce. In general, don’t go it alone. Cut yourself a break. Take time for yourself and don’t beat yourself up. Break down your tasks into manageable pieces. While you need to listen to your inner voice to make the best decisions for yourself and your family, you may find comfort in a support group, choosing mediation, and leaning on your friends. The real success is when the hurt and anger subsides and you come out the other side independent both financially and emotionally. --- - Published: 2018-01-17 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/make-sure-not-making-huge-divorce-mistakes/ It can be so hard to be strong when you are going through a divorce. It is the time you most want to wallow. There is time for wallowing on a Saturday afternoon, but you also must keep your head and your wits about you while going through a divorce. The article below succinctly lists 5 important tips to wisely guide you through this process. In short, listen to your higher voice. Think ahead. Don’t give away your power. This is an important time to make sure you make well-informed decisions for yourself, your children and your family. And stay single for a while. Take time for yourself without replacing your former spouse with a substitute. It helps you grow to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes in choosing your partner the next time. To move on to the next chapter in your life better, avoid the divorce mistakes listed in this article, Are You Making These Huge Divorce Mistakes? --- - Published: 2017-12-13 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/tips-healthy-divorce/ You will always be the parents to your children. Forever. Please remember to keep the adult issues between the adults. Your children have enough to deal with adjusting to life’s changes, so please be careful. I recommend that mediation parents consult with a therapist to learn the best way to tell their children about their divorce based on the child’s age and maturity. This article, Healthy divorce: How to make your split as smooth as possible, provides some tips on how to have a healthy divorce. --- - Published: 2017-11-15 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/co-parenting-tips-divorced-parents/ Don’t speak ill of the other parent in front of your children! Your children are half of each of you and if you criticize the parent, you are criticizing, and hurting, your child. Your child will notice somewhere inside them and will be grateful that you didn’t disparage the other. Time will tell and they will understand that you took the high road. You can’t control what the other parent says and does. You will have less control when you are divorced and often the best gift you can give to your children is letting go. This article 7 Issues All Co-Parents Face And How To Overcome Them provide some tips for divorced parents on how to overcome co-parenting issues. --- - Published: 2017-10-11 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/questions-ask-getting-divorced/ When deciding whether to proceed with a divorce, ask yourself whether your issues are what I call ‘roommate issues’. If you still love each other and the bricks between you have piled up so that leaving the cap off the toothpaste is exacerbated to world war III, let’s see whether a therapist can help you topple that wall. If that is not your issue, please know that divorce may be harder than you think. If you want to make sure that you don’t make the same mistake choosing the wrong person as your partner in the future, the best advice I have found is to take your time. Take time for yourself to make sure you don’t marry the same person with a different face. The article 11 Questions to Ask Before Getting a Divorce provides some insight as to what questions you should ask before getting divorced. --- - Published: 2017-09-13 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/shared-parenting-best-children-divorce/ More and more courts are routinely favoring shared parenting time schedules when work requirements allow. Children want to be loved by both parents and they always love both of you. We work to ensure that one parent is not the fun parent while the other is the working parent. The article, "After divorce, shared parenting is best for children’s health and development," addresses the issue of on the job training for the less involved parent. It is amazing to discover the growth of both parent and child when spending more time together and becoming involved in the daily routine and details of child rearing. --- - Published: 2017-08-16 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/preparing-finances-divorce/ If you haven’t been the one paying the bills for your joint household, you will need to learn and there is no time like the present while you are going through the divorce process. We take the time during the mediation process to make sure that you understand your finances and can afford your decisions. I ask mediation participants to ‘hold steady’ and not make any financial changes until we have the opportunity to review your financial circumstances together and set up two financially independent households. The following tips from the article, 7 Ways to Ready Your Finances for Divorce, can help get you started in the right direction. --- - Published: 2017-07-12 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/money-issues-divorce/ Sometimes during a mediation session, I will hear one partner say, “you only care about the money. ” My response is that it is now mostly about money so try not to be offended. Whether the financial issues arise during your marriage or during your divorce, the conflict is often about money. Being honest, having those difficult conversations and talking through your approach to finances is the only way to resolve your money woes. The article The 5 Financial Habits Most Likely to Lead to a Divorce states, "Money issues are the third leading cause of divorce, according to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, preceded by incompatibility and infidelity. " --- - Published: 2017-06-15 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/top-three-divorce-expenses/ The article The Top Three Big Divorce Expenses provides an explanation of the top three expenses in divorce and tips on what you should do. Clearly divorce mediation is significantly less expensive financially and emotionally than litigation. Another important consideration as you address your divorce issues is how a working parent arranges time with children in a cost-effective manner. Spending time with your children is very important, and you need to consider the most cost-effective way for both parents to spend as much quality time as possible, in light of realistic work commitments. Time and cost are important considerations which shouldn’t be ignored while you are addressing your future independent living arrangements. --- - Published: 2017-05-26 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/talking-children-divorce/ The article 7 Tips for Communicating with Your Children About Your Divorce is a wonderful guide to how to talk with your children about your divorce. It is key that both parents are together when speaking with the children. I would add that determining whether you speak with each child separately or not would depend on the personalities of your children. If one child’s reaction would increase the anxiety of the other, then both parents may want to speak with each child individually. Remember to not blame the other parent. Your children love both of you. You only need to give them the age appropriate information they need to process this life transition. It is helpful to seek professional advice in order to be sure that you are explaining in the best way possible always mindful of your children’s best interests. --- - Published: 2017-02-21 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-mediation-work/ Facing a divorce is confusing. You are approaching an unfamiliar process. Have your heard about divorce mediation? Here is my summary of the divorce mediation process. I work with both husband and wife together. You don’t need to be on the same page regarding the resolution of your divorce matters. You do need to be in agreement to voluntarily walk into the room and participate in the mediation process. It is my job to help guide you toward a Marital Settlement Agreement that is equitable to both parties. I provide information about the relevant law from a neutral perspective. The process includes both spouses and me, your attorney mediator, in the mediation room, but you may each consult with separate attorneys any time you want, before or during the mediation process. What are the benefits? Money is a big one. Mediation is significantly less expensive than the courtroom battle of litigation. We use a set fee rather than a retainer and hourly rate as is traditional in the legal field. I cannot estimate a specific fee until I meet with both of you during the complimentary consultation in order to know what your issues are and the resulting number of mediation sessions that will be required to complete your divorce process, but I will tell you that the set fee tends to be lower than the initial retainer you would each be quoted from a litigator. Time is another advantage. The duration of mediation is measured in months rather than... --- - Published: 2016-09-02 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/back-school-flexibility-generosity/ Flexibility and generosity should always be your guiding mantra as you navigate through your shared parenting time arrangements. Human nature being what it is, your ex-spouse will be more willing to work with you instead of against you if you offer the same. For example, Spouse A has a family gathering on a Sunday a few hours from home. In order to return the kids to Spouse B in time for the previously agreed upon parenting time transfer, the kids would have to miss the family bar-b-q dinner. This is a perfect opportunity for Spouse B to demonstrate flexibility and generosity in the children’s best interests. Understandably it’s not ideal that the children may be an hour sleep deprived for school the next day, however, they will make it through the day, albeit a bit cranky. In the grand scheme of things, the picnic and the peaceful interaction of their parents, are what will be remembered by the kids. Now that the children are returning to school, parenting time challenges will have to be modified to fit school year activities. It is most important that the children see, feel and understand that both parents want to spend time with them and be a part of their lives, and children do not want to be the cause of their parents’ strife. When both parents work toward ensuring that the alternate parent also has quality time with the kids, it is a winning situation for all concerned. It is, after all, quality... --- - Published: 2016-06-07 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/pets-in-divorce/ Pets are considered personal property in divorce. Some states will consider who will retain the pet as part of their overall division of personal property, but not to enforce a visitation schedule. In the event that the court does entertain the determination of which spouse shall retain the pet (usually dogs) the following considerations are usually what is taken into account. If the pet belonged to either spouse before the marriage, the case is much clearer that it should belong to that same spouse after the divorce. Which spouse bought the pet’s food and supplies? Who took the pet to the veterinarian for check-ups, or if it’s hurt? Who walks it, cleans up after it, feeds it? Which spouse walked the dog and took him or her to be groomed? Which spouse spent the most time with the pet during the marriage? That spouse will most likely retain possession. The primary custodial parent will most often retain possession over the family pet. It is usually in the children’s best interests in coping with the change and upheaval for them to continue to have their pet in their home. Whose lifestyle is better suited to retain the pet? Does one spouse work long hours while the other works from home? Does one spouse work closer to home? If the pet will not be left alone for long periods of time, that spouse may be more likely to retain possession of the pet. Often the courts won't enforce a pet visitation agreement.... --- - Published: 2016-04-11 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/mediating-divorce-remember/ When Mediating your Divorce Remember... Understanding your spouse’s position is not the same as agreeing with it. Agree to be reasonable. When you’re willing to try to understand the other’s position, as long as it’s at least reasonable and makes sense (the reasonableness of which I understand is in the eye of the beholder), agreeing to it means you’ve just taken a step toward a settlement. You are not raising a white flag. You cannot force someone to stay married to you so you’re not giving in or giving up by accepting a necessary compromise. Your spouse has legal rights that can’t be stripped away. Mediation is not for you if... You have an emotional axe to grind, mediation is resolution focused. You want to gamble with your assets, child custody and support issues. You want someone to argue for you for more than your equitable share of your marital estate. You want to gamble with legal and/or procedural rules, loopholes, exemptions and exception that may come into play through litigation. --- - Published: 2016-04-04 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-affordable-care-act/ If you are the spouse covered on your employer’s plan, you won’t lose your health insurance coverage. You will drop your soon to be ex-spouse when your divorce is finalized with the court since the divorce would be considered a life changing event. If you have a plan directly from an insurance carrier, you would call them to make necessary changes when your Decree is final. Since your household size will decrease because of your divorce, your health insurance should cost you less. If you are the one who will be dropped from your ex-spouse’s employer’s plan after your divorce, you may be eligible for COBRA coverage which can last up to 36 months, but it’s expensive (costing around 102% of the total cost of insurance). You will probably get a better deal if your employer offers coverage or if you shop for health coverage on the Affordable Care Act (ACA) marketplace. You should also know that when you purchase an ACA marketplace plan, you may be eligible for tax credits (also know as premium subsidies) to offset the cost of your premiums. When you lose coverage because of a divorce, you should be eligible for a special enrollment so you don’t have to wait for the next open enrollment period to get a new plan. You have 30 or 60 days (check with your insurer) from the date the divorce is final to sign up for a new insurance plan. Do your research in advance so that you are... --- - Published: 2016-03-07 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/ted-ted-talk-parent-conflict-worse-than-divorce/ When I sit across from a couple who is embarking on the divorce process I ask them about their greatest concerns. The vast majority of divorcing couples fortunately say, our children. Tamara D. Afifi, currently a professor at the University of Iowa, presented a TED talk on the impact of parental conflict on children. (https://www. youtube. com/watch? v=cKcNyfXbQzQ) Dr. Afifi explained that the nature and intensity of their parents’ conflict has more impact on children long term than a divorce. In fact, the most significant difficulties occurring later in life (finding a satisfying or lasting relationship, etc. ) were more prevalent in children whose parents had significant conflict who remain married rather than those who had gotten divorced. In other words, the extent of parental conflict has more impact on your children long term than does the divorce itself. Some of Dr. Afifi’s students responded that they wished that their parents had gotten divorced. They felt that their parents had placed more importance on their love/hate relationship with each other than providing a nurturing environment for their children. More recently parents and children have closer relationships than they did over the past few decades, partly because of the electronic age. Parents and children are in more frequent contact. The result of this closeness can be worse for children of divorced parents. An adolescent or young adult should not be a parent’s confidant. When a parent confides in a child, undue stress is put upon the child. A child should not... --- - Published: 2016-02-29 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/brand-new-nj-alimony-reform-case-law/ Hot off the presses! Application of the new alimony statute modification provision based on retirement was tested in the Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division case, Landers v. Landers, Docket Number A-3931-14T3, which was approved for publication on February 22, 2016. In Landers the court clarifies the standard for retirement based alimony termination or modification based on the Alimony Reform statute amendments effective September 10, 2014. New Jersey alimony law was revised on September 10, 2014 to change the provision for ‘permanent alimony’ to the newly termed ‘open durational alimony’. In addition, the revised statute provided that “alimony may be modified or terminated upon the prospective or actual retirement of the obligor. ” This new case law confirms that the recently adopted standard for alimony modification or termination which essentially transferred the burden of proof from the obligor to the obligee only applies to alimony awards issued after the new law was enacted in 2014. Alimony orders which predate the 2014 revision retain the obligor’s burden of proof based on specifically delineated statutory factors. Section j of the revised New Jersey alimony law codifies the revised standards and factors to be considered in a modification or termination case based on the retirement of the payor. Subsection 1 of N. J. S. A. 2A:34-23(j) is getting all of the attention for creating, “a rebuttable presumption that alimony shall terminate upon the obligor spouse or partner attaining full retirement age... ” In contrast Subsection 3 of N. J. S. A. 2A:34-23(j)... --- - Published: 2015-12-02 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/fear-threats-divorce/ A common theme when approaching divorce is fear. Of course there is fear of the unknown, but what about the fear that results from spousal threats? The BEST OF list of COMMONLY HEARD THREATS: “I will tell the court that you—had an affair, use anti-anxiety medication, have a couple of glasses of wine in a day. I will get sole custody and you will lose the kids. ” The standard the court considers is ‘the best interests of the children’ and most likely these issues are irrelevant and none of these facts would have any effect on a court’s custody decision. “I will quit my job so I don’t have to pay you support! ” Not so fast! Once you have proven yourself able to earn a given level of income, the court will hold you to that earning capacity for support calculation purposes whether you stay at that job or not. “You are selfish/all about the money/taking MY money. ” You are entitled to your share according to what the law allows. The legislature and the courts have done their best to establish rules for equitable justice between the parties. Each spouse has contributed in his or her own way to the financial enterprise that was your marriage. Once the marriage is over, yes it is about the money. “If you don’t do this my way, you’ll get nothing. ” The dominant spouse is used to being in charge. He or she is losing control. Your marital property will... --- - Published: 2015-10-16 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/fake-it-til-you-become-it/ Divorce is about change. I see it in my practice every day. Usually one mediation participant is further along the transition process than the other who is struggling to come to terms with his or her new reality. Amy Cuddy presented a TED Talk (http://bit. ly/1he9hAR) based on science that could be transformative for divorcing couples—particularly the reluctant spouse. Ms. Cuddy showed her audience how minds can change bodies and bodies can change minds. She then demonstrated that minds could change behavior and that behavior could result in changed outcomes. ‘Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes” is what it takes to make big changes. You need your body, privacy and two minutes. Strike a power pose (think Wonder Woman or Superman) for two minutes when you are faced with a “social threat situation. ” I believe that divorce mediation would qualify as a social threat situation even though there are only three participants. “Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. ” According to Ms. Cuddy power posing is not about talking to others. It is about talking to yourself. “Non-verbals govern how we feel about ourselves. ” Divorce mediation requires a balance of power. I focus on creating a mediation room with a balance of power. You want to leave the room having shown yourself for who you are without regrets. We’ve heard the axiom ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ but Ms. Cuddy takes this concept to the next level. You are embarking on a new future. Imagine who... --- - Published: 2015-08-19 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/same-sex-marriage-divorce/ As most if not all of the population of the United States is aware, the landmark June 26, 2015 US Supreme Court decision in, Obergefell v. Hodges, legalized same sex marriage. The court held that, The Fourteenth Amendment requires a State to license a marriage between two people of the same sex and to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex when their marriage was lawfully licensed and performed out-of-State. Shortly after the Supreme Court's landmark marriage equality ruling, Anna Wellman and Stephanie Baus filed for divorce in the Orleans Parish Civil District Court in Louisiana after waiting for the opportunity for five years. The Times-Picayune reported that, “the couple quickly finalized their divorce before the city's first same sex couple weed a few hours later. " Wellman and Baus were married in 2009 in Massachusetts, where same sex marriage was legal since 2004. The couple couldn’t divorce when they separated five years ago because Louisiana didn't recognize their marriage. Massachusetts doesn’t have a residency requirement to get married, but there is a residency requirement to get divorced. States have residency requirements of a minimum of six months (Pennsylvania) to one year (New Jersey) or more in order for that state to have jurisdiction over a divorce matter. Prior to the Supreme Court's ruling on 6/26/15, a same-sex couple seeking a divorce had the choice of moving to Massachusetts, or another state that recognized same sex marriage, for a specified period of time in order to satisfy... --- - Published: 2015-07-03 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/independence-day-after-divorce/ BUCKET LIST: Force yourself to make one. As a matter of fact you should probably make two bucket lists. The first list you make would contain those long term, “I want to do this before I die” items. Your second list would contain smaller scale, easier to attain, short term aspirations. Here are some ideas: Take a class; or Start a hobby; or Invest more time with friends (or making new friends); or Begin a health and/or exercise regimen; or Get yourself to the shore if even for the day... with or without the kids... you know you’ve been saying you want to get there this summer; or Read that book (or any book) that you’ve always wanted to read; or Start a journal (very therapeutic); or Revisit an activity you used to love; or Anything your ex hated doing... I certainly can’t know what you would most enjoy doing now that there is no one there to stop you so these are some generic ideas, but hopefully ideas that can get you thinking... and enjoying your independence. BY YOURSELF: As opposed to lonely is a much more positive description. It may be difficult to be alone, but it also gives you time to rediscover who you are. We can get so caught up in being a spouse, with our jobs, and kids, that sometimes we lose ourselves along the way. Take the time to remember what you love most about yourself. This is a good time to be a... --- > New Jersey’s alimony law was revised on September 10, 2014. Some of the changes in New Jersey’s controversial alimony law clarify durational limits. - Published: 2015-06-22 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-jerseys-new-alimony-law/ New Jersey’s alimony law, N. J. S. A. 2A:34-23 was revised on September 10, 2014. Some of the changes in New Jersey’s controversial alimony law clarify durational limits and provide factors for modification and termination of alimony. Probably the most significant change in the New Jersey Alimony Statute is that the term “permanent” alimony has been replaced with “open durational” alimony. Now in marriages of less than 20 years, the total duration of alimony shall not exceed the length of the marriage, except in “exceptional circumstances. ” Another significant factor that has been added to the law is “the practical impact of the parties’ need for separate residences and the attendant increase in living expenses on the ability of both parties to maintain a standard of living reasonably comparable to the standard of living established in the marriage or civil union, to which both parties are entitled, which neither party having a greater entitlement thereto. ” In the past the court has focused on the ability of the payee to maintain the marital standard of living. Of course every rule has its exceptions. “Exceptional circumstances which may require an adjustment to the duration of alimony include: The ages of the parties at the time of the marriage or civil union and at the time of the alimony award; The degree and duration of the dependency of one party on the other party during the marriage or civil union; Whether a spouse or partner has a chronic illness or unusual health... --- - Published: 2015-06-10 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/no-tools-allowed/ I love hearing during the divorce mediation process that parents both want to spend time with their children. The flip side of that is using children as a tool or leverage during the divorce process. More often such manipulations happen in the litigation setting than during mediation, but it is important to always prioritize your children's best interests. As a divorce mediator, I am lucky to work with couples who want to agree on their parenting time schedule themselves. It is important to remember, however, not to be intransigent with your parenting agreement as a consequence of having issues with your soon to be ex-spouse. I love to hear that he/she is the father/mother of my children. That sentence is usually followed by a generosity of spirit. Long after the divorce process if over and done you will continue to be the parents of your children. Remember to never speak ill of the other parent. Your children will understand your circumstances more and more as they age. They will appreciate that you took the high road, probably sooner than you think. Remember that your children are 50% of both of you. If you insult the other parent, you are insulting 50% of your child as well. Remember that children always love their parents. You are setting an example and it is in your children's best interests that both parents are involved in their children's lives. --- - Published: 2015-05-27 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/which-wolf-will-you-feed/ Over the weekend I saw a movie that contained a fabulous parable. According to my research it is an old Cherokee fable. “One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. “One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. “The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. ” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins? ” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed. ” The divorce process is made up of a series of choices you make for yourself and your family. As you move through this transitional time and reflect on your choices, how will you judge yourself for the decisions you have made? How will you feel about yourself for your sake and for your children’s sake? You and your spouse don’t need to agree about the terms of your divorce in advance in order to commit to the mediation process, but wouldn’t it be gratifying to know that during this transitional time in your life you committed to feeding the wolf of compassion and benevolence? --- - Published: 2015-04-17 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/back-to-blogging/ We have redesigned the new hope divorce mediation website and in the spirit of renewal I am recommitting to writing blog posts on a more regular basis. I thought I’d begin with the most common concern that potential clients relate to me when they first call to inquire about mediation. “I’ve never been through this before. I don’t know what to expect. ” Most people who contact me have never been through a divorce before. Let me set your mind at ease. I don’t expect anyone who I work with to know anything about divorce or the mediation process. I don’t expect anyone to come to the mediation process with any prior experience. My approach to your divorce mediation is to break down each step in the process and explain divorce mediation to you from start to finish in plain English. I encourage questions. If you don’t understand something, ask me. I will patiently approach each and every question until everyone understands. My goal is to make sure that the mediation process I bring to you is not murky. My goal is to ensure that the divorce mediation process itself is not part of the problem. My goal is make sure that your divorce mediation is as constructive and respectful as possible. --- - Published: 2013-08-14 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/handling-the-divorce-process-with-grace/ Divorce is a highly emotional time for families, and it’s important to get support. Support from friends, families and therapy can help make the divorce process smoother. While the actual mechanics of ‘how to get a divorce” vary from state to state, it usually looks something like this. One of you files a divorce complaint. It’s served on the other spouse and filed in the county where you reside. When traditional litigation lawyers are retained as each spouse makes additional demands and the legal fees increase. Not only can this be expensive, it’s also an emotionally draining approach to divorce. A divorce mediator can help ease the divorce process. Experienced in family law, your divorce mediator will work with you to ensure that you understand the legal and financial ramifications of the decisions you make before you sign your Agreement. While the divorce process is often mired in confusion and pain, a divorce mediator provides a safe space for counsel and negotiation. A mediator keeps the focus neutral and helps the couple work out their Agreement with minimal drama. Smoothing the Divorce Process At New Hope Divorce Mediation, you will have a limited number of mediation sessions and a flat fee so there are no ugly surprises. We will put your children first by prioritizing their needs and drafting your Parenting Agreement first. We will always put the best interests of your children first. Young couples with no children who haven’t been married long generally have a simpler divorce process.... --- > Divorce is hard on everyone. Once you’ve accepted the decision to make the split, how do you break it to the kids? How do you help them make the transition? - Published: 2013-07-23 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/children-and-divorce-making-the-transition/ Divorce is hard on everyone. Once you’ve accepted the decision to make the split, how do you break it to the kids? How do you help them make the transition? The first thing to consider is talking with a professional about how to tell them. It’s a good idea to talk with a therapist who specializes in children and divorce for guidance. They can help you with how and when to tell your children about your impending divorce so that you never look back with regret about whether you handled this conversation correctly. 5 Guidelines for Children and Divorce: While you may be full of questions and confusion yourself, children will need extra attention and explanation during this time of transition. Here are 5 ways to help them through this time of transition. • Keep Them in the Loop – explain how you will both be spending time with your children. If you will be moving, what should they expect? Let them choose new furniture/bedding/towels. Children often feel powerless during divorce. Allow them to regain some sense of control. • Explain They’re Not the Cause – kids can get funny ideas. Some children may think that somehow they’re to blame. Make sure that they know that they are in no way at fault. Make sure that they know that the divorce is between you and your spouse and not your kids. • Show a Unified Front—don’t blame your spouse in front of your children or take your children on as... --- - Published: 2013-06-16 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/the-pitfalls-of-trying-to-negotiate-your-divorce-on-your-own/ Usually when people call to inquire about divorce mediation they underestimate the complexity of the issues involved under the circumstances of their divorce. There is the exception of a couple who has been married for a very short period of time, has held all their limited property separately, doesn’t own a home, earns similar salaries and doesn’t have children. Usually the issues are more complex than that, it is an emotionally wrought time and a well trained professional will prove invaluable in arriving an equitable resolution of your issues under the relevant law. Some of the pitfalls to trying to handle your own divorce are: 1. One spouse dominates the negotiation process. The dominant spouse generally pressures the other spouse into agreeing with his or her resolution. There are usually well-worn relationship roles that continue through the ‘negotiation’. I often hear a spouse worry that the other will ‘get mad at me’ for sticking up for him or herself. 2. One spouse has more information. That’s usually the dominant spouse as well. That spouse is pushing for quick decisions. The other spouse is generally at a disadvantage from lack of preparation and lack of information. 3. There’s no referee. The process can easily get out of hand. Having that third party in the room helps everyone stay on their best behavior and directs the process in a constructive and respectful manner. 4. The parties can easily get caught up in arguments over small details rather than considering the bigger issues.... --- - Published: 2013-06-09 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-advice-for-an-uncontested-divorce/ As you move forward through this transition time, you’re bound to have many questions. A divorce mediator provides neutral facilitation and helps you craft a Separation Agreement that’s mutually agreeable. In The Pitfalls of Trying to Negotiate Your Own Divorce, I outlined some of the common difficulties couples encounter. Namely, there’s not a neutral party to keep the discussion on track and provide a level head to an emotional time. Even if you’re facing an uncontested divorce, you still have to sort out the questions of distribution of property, finances and if you have children, custody. These discussions can cause emotions to flare and it can be tempting to try and mitigate them as much as possible. 3 Pieces of Divorce Advice: 1—Know what you’re signing. Sometimes a spouse will sign paperwork without knowing the full ramifications of the document. They may do this out of a hope to bring a quick conclusion to an unsettling time or they may be bullied. It’s important to know that you’re not signing away 1000’s of dollars you’re entitled to or giving away your retirement funds. It happens. A trained divorce mediator will review paperwork and offer you neutral counsel. 2—Develop your support network. Divorce can bring up a myriad of emotions – sad, angry, untethered—often all in the same day. Get the support you need from a trained therapist, a divorce support group, family and friends. You need a safe space to cry, vent and realize you’re not alone. 3—Don’t badmouth your... --- - Published: 2013-03-29 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/5-tax-tips-for-divorcing-couples/ Last year around this time I blogged about 4 tax tips for divorcing couples. It is that time of year again and the majority of couples who I’ve been meeting with have not filed their taxes yet. For this reason I have decided it would be a good idea to rerun last year’s post and add a tip to the list as well. The fifth tip incorporates several points that you should review with your tax expert. According to Barbara Zell Weinberger, Esq. writing for the Huffington Post, the following are the most commonly asked questions asked by divorcing couples during tax season. (The additions which I have added are italicized and contained in parentheses. ) 1. Do we file jointly or as individuals? The law states that every individual must file according to his or her marital status as of December 31st in any given year. Some parties might consider delaying finality to their divorce until after the New Year so that they may reap the benefits of filing jointly. An agreement should be made in advance as to the refund or deficiency in this case. (The agreement should address how the couple plans to share the refund or liability. Where will the funds come from to pay a joint obligation? Should a joint refund be used to pay off joint debt? The decision may not be the same for the refund as it is for a liability based on the equitable factors involved in that particular set of... --- - Published: 2013-02-15 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/top-10-reasons-to-mediate-your-divorce/ The Huffington Post which regularly posts articles on divorce recently published an article that laid out the “Top 10 Reasons to Mediate your Divorce. ” Valuable excerpts from the article are outlined below: “Mediation is a process for resolving conflict and coming to an agreement where decision-making remains with the parties. A neutral mediator assists parties in arriving at a mutually acceptable agreement. In contrast to an adversarial proceeding, mediation emphasizes cooperative problem solving and addressing the needs of all involved. Mediation can be used for all types of conflict, however it is particularly useful in the context of divorce and family disputes. Here are some reasons why: It’s less costly. You and your spouse will typically pay one professional who is dedicated to helping you both reach a resolution. You will pay for meetings rather than waiting time at court. You will not pay for the costly drafting of motion papers back and forth and the accompanying court appearances. Lengthy divorce battles and trials have led to the financial ruin of many families. Divorcing families already have enough financial strain. Pay for your child’s college education, not your lawyer’s child. You control the discussion and the outcome. You choose the topics that you want to discuss and settle. You, not the court, have final say over the terms of your agreement. Important decisions about you and your children are not left in the hands of strangers. You get more personal attention. The mediation process allows you to speak and... --- - Published: 2013-02-01 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/new-hope-divorce-mediation-on-the-radio/ Brad Segall, host of 98. 1 WOGL’s Philadelphia Agenda, recently spoke with Paul Murray, President of PTM Wealth Management and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Mindey Elgart, attorney mediator with New Hope Divorce Mediation talking about the mediation process in divorce and the importance of getting your financial house in order before going through a divorce. --- - Published: 2013-01-25 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/98-1-wogl-philadelphia-agenda-with-brad-segall/ I am a guest on 98. 1 WOGL’s Philadelphia Agenda with Brad Segall Sunday morning from 6:30-7:00 a. m. Paul Murray, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst with PTM Wealth Management, shared the Philadelphia Agenda spotlight for an integrated presentation of a more constructive, respectful and well informed way to divorce. For those of you who don’t believe those morning hours exist on the weekends, a podcast will be available within the next few days after broadcast on the WOGL website. In addition, once the podcast is available, the radio broadcast will be available on my website. --- - Published: 2013-01-18 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/january-is-divorce-month/ So many couples hold on through the holidays in the hope that the magic of those special shared moments will save their marriage. They hold on for the kids and they hold on as a test to see whether the holidays can resuscitate their relationship or confirm the notion that they can’t take another year in this marriage. According to MyDivorcePapers. com, “It is estimated that each January the rate of people filing for divorce goes up 50% higher than any other time of the year. The January divorce month has been so established in the legal community that professionals have pin-pointed the day divorce peaks. D-Day, as it has been dubbed, is the first day children return to school from winter break. ” Psychology Today reported, amous divorce lawyer Raoul Felder said that his schedule is so jammed with clients seeking dissolutions of their marriages in January that he has to schedule late into the evening. Lawyer Sue Moss likewise said, “It’s like tax season for us... December is dead, and then as soon as the ball drops, the phone starts ringing and it doesn’t stop. ” Bernard Rothman, counsel to Sankel, Skurman & McCartin LLP in New York, said, “Generally the calls fall off just before Thanksgiving and pick up again on January 2. ” Chicago attorney and author Jeffrey Leving said that the Legal Services Commission recognizes January and February as the busiest months for divorce, noting that “couples have false expectations. They think miracles will happen... --- - Published: 2013-01-11 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-tool-kit/ A divorcing client proclaimed, “Divorce is so ironic: I feel awful, anxious, and angry, but everyone tells me I have to do my best decision-making and negotiating, now. How on earth am I supposed to do that? ” according to a Huffington Post article, “The Perfect Divorce Toolkit. ” I couldn’t have put it better myself. I have long maintained that you cannot hide your head in the sand while going through the divorce process. Even if choosing to divorce through mediation, while a more cooperative process, both participants must participate fully. You will be making decisions for yourself and your family that you will be living with for years to come. Now is not the time to shy away from your decision making responsibilities. The suggested toolkit presents some helpful categories, but I have added my recommendations: 1. Skilled divorce professionals–It is very important to engage a well versed, experienced professional. It’s also equally important to hire a legal professional who reflects your position and attitude toward your divorce and soon to be ex-spouse. If you feel adversarial, then hire a litigator. If you want to resolve your legal issues more quickly and inexpensively (and your spouse will cooperate with the process), then hire an experienced mediator or investigate whether the collaborative law process would meet your needs. Make sure that you hire a legal professional who will take the time to make sure you understand your rights and responsibilities without sloughing off your questions. 2. A strong support... --- - Published: 2012-09-21 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/women-in-transition-find-advice-camaraderie-at-chamber-event/ This article appeared on phillyburbs. com. Margaret Thompson drove all the way to Doylestown from Swarthmore Tuesday to seek support and inspiration. She said she found it, in the form of the Central Bucks Chamber of Commerce’s Women in Business Committee. The committee on Tuesday hosted the first installment of its Women’s Empowerment Series, a seminar series designed to help women facing major changes in their lives and careers. The event drew about a dozen women, many of whom, like Thompson, were facing personal or professional challenges. “We hope to provide real advice to solve real problems,” said committee member Karen Lasorda, senior vice president for Bucks County Bank. The second event in the free series is set for April. On Tuesday, speakers Mindey Elgart, Kim Arnold and Lucy Steitz aimed to prepare women to achieve financial independence in the face of divorce or to re-enter the workforce after being out of it for a period. Elgart, a New Hope attorney who specializes in divorce mediation, said women need to have a hand in the family’s finances if they don’t already do so. They should look at bank statements, credit card statements and pay stubs, and know about retirement and brokerage accounts. “Very frequently what I hear from women is, ‘I had no idea about the finances. My husband handles it,’ ” Elgart said. “The second thing I hear is, ‘The reason we’re in this mess is because he did it. ’ ” Steitz, a certified financial planner with CoreStates... --- - Published: 2012-09-07 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/guidelines-for-divorced-parents-of-teens/ I am always a huge proponent of divorcing couples remembering to behave appropriately as parents during the divorce process. As such I was very happy to see the recent article, A Young Adult’s Reflections About Her Parents’ Divorce in the Huffington Post. The teen of divorced parents who was interviewed provided the following important guidelines: 1. Therapy is important so that the teen has a place to express his or her feelings. Teens and children of divorce don’t usually go to their parents to talk about divorce issues because the parents themselves are involved. “I needed help because my parents were caught up in their own struggles and I got lost. ” 2. Co-parenting is critical. “arents seek support to deal with the many emotional, financial and parenting challenges that come with divorce... arents have so many pressures to contend with but... children need their parents and additional support at the same time. ” Children are “adjusting to a physical separation from one parent, figuring out schedules, sometimes moving locations and changing schools, deciding which parent to spend holidays with and feeling guilty when she wasn’t with the other parent. Parents’ dating is another major issue. She reflected on how fortunate she is to have a stepmom who respects boundaries and never pretended to take the place of mom or prevent from spending time with her dad. She remembers that she was uncomfortable at first about her dad having a significant other but they both were ‘mindful of us during... --- - Published: 2012-08-10 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/is-nesting-continuing-to-share-residence-after-divorce-a-good-idea/ Unless you are a multimillionaire with unlimited resources, you will feel the financial effects of dividing your funds and assets after divorce. Whether you are a one or two income family, you are no longer sharing expenses. You must now each support your own individual household. Times can be tough these days and some couples consider continuing to share a residence. Some couples also consider sharing a residence for the children’s sake. The most frequently cited concern that divorcing couples have is that their children’s well-being. Is this a good idea? The most positive article I’ve seen on the subject entitled, “Apartners”: The New Happy Divorce, was recently published by Redbook. Nesting is the term used for when “exes share or rotate through a single home that their children stay in full-time. ” “Nesting is obviously not an option for everyone; it could prove disastrous in a split that involves violence, for example. But it’s one of the many new ways that exes with children are becoming better and happier “apartners. ” Exes who are not only amicable but loving are part of a divorce revolution, along with mediation and collaborative divorce (in which both parties hire lawyers but agree to keep it out of court). ” Obviously it takes a special kind of effort for divorcing couples to overcome the very same conflict or communication issues in order to make this arrangement work smoothly for everyone concerned. “hen divorcing couples have the right kind of support, they can put... --- - Published: 2012-07-20 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/how-do-divorce-and-education-affect-success/ Last week the New York Times published an article on the effects of education and divorce on income and upward mobility. It isn’t shocking to learn that a two income family will fare better than a single parent who isn’t receiving child support. The article went on to say, however, that education plays a significant role in a parent’s and child’s financial future. Some startling statistics: “About 41 percent of births in the United States occur outside marriage, up sharply from 17 percent three decades ago. But equally sharp are the educational divides, according to an analysis by Child Trends, a Washington research group. Less than 10 percent of the births to college-educated women occur outside marriage, while for women with high school degrees or less the figure is nearly 60 percent. ” “The people with more education tend to have stable family structures with committed, involved fathers,” Ms. McLanahan said. “The people with less education are more likely to have complex, unstable situations involving men who come and go. ” She said, “I think this process is creating greater gaps in these children’s life chances. ” “As recently as 1990, just 10 percent of the births to women like Ms. Schairer (white women with some postsecondary schooling but not a full college degree) occurred outside marriage, according to Child Trends. Now it has tripled to 30 percent, compared with just 8 percent for women of all races with college degrees. Less-educated women are also more likely to have children... --- - Published: 2012-06-29 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/shared-child-custody-tips/ This blog has repeatedly reinforced the concept that it is of utmost importance for divorcing and/or divorced parent to be respectful of the other for the sake of their children. The Huffington Post article,”Sharing Custody of My Child: What Do I Do? ” suggests some proactive ideas for how to make the most of your shared custody arrangement. 1. “Make the phone call or Skype visit count. ” As with anything you tell your children you will do–be consistent and follow through with what you say. Younger children should be contacted earlier in the day before they are tired or cranky. Older children and teens should be generally be contacted later in the day when their activities and friend time is over so they are home. Be content with a shorter phone call if that is what your child wants so that the contact is a pleasure and not a chore. 2. “Use the Mail or eCards. ” This is probably a better idea for younger children. Older children would probably prefer texts. 3. “Get a Photo Opportunity. ” The article suggests a photo album of shared time, but more importantly each parent should allow a picture of the other parent in their room. 4. “Your Child has Enough ‘Baggage’. ” “Your child should not have to bring pajamas, a toothbrush or a change of clothes when they come to your home. It should all be there. Bear in mind, a favorite stuffed animal or blanket is an exception and... --- - Published: 2012-06-01 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/mediation-training-family-law-class/ I recently attended a 40 hour seminar on family law mediation training. While mediation is taking hold more and more in the States of New Jersey and Pennsylvania, New Jersey has established this extensive mediation program through the New Jersey Institute of Continuing Legal Education at the Law Center as well as through the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators. It was a great opportunity to hear from mediators from all over the state, as well as New York practitioners. The mediation models of the practitioners varied from those who considered caucusing (sessions used by mediators to speak separately and privately with each of the parties to the mediation) an important element of each mediation to those who like me, who don’t agree with or practice mediation using the caucus model. The contents of the private sessions are privileged and not to be shared with the alternate party unless express permission is given. To me it would be very difficult to disregard those private conversations during the mediation. What if the mediator makes a mistake and reveals information garnered during the caucus session? I find in my practice that when I advise my clients that, while our sessions are completely private to the rest of the world, all of the communications that take place during their mediation process will be shared between both parties. Usually I hear a sigh of relief at the thought that nothing will take place behind anyone’s back. We heard from some of the pioneers of... --- - Published: 2012-05-11 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/divorce-without-the-arguing/ Two helpful articles recently written in the Huffington Post about avoiding (or perhaps more realistically minimizing) arguments during the divorce process are written from the perspectives of attorneys and a divorce coach. Bearing the advice from each in mind while speaking with your soon to be ex-spouse should provide you with some helpful tools. The attorneys’ article is “Dealing with the Soon-to-be-Ex: You Can’t Win an Argument by Arguing” begins with the proposition that we are caught “off-guard” by our “pain and frustration” with the “erroneous thinking” of the soon-to-be-ex. It may be counter intuitive to not tell them how wrong they are, but you may be better served by keeping this thinking to yourself. The attorneys support their position with three good reasons: “o one has ever won an argument by arguing. Doing so just makes the other side dig in deeper. ” “eople are not inclined to open their thinking when they are dodging arrows. ” “t is truly impossible to change your soon-to-be ex’s mind, and don’t ever think you can. You will not be able to change their thinking any more than they will be able to change yours. ” I take some issue with the third premise not because one spouse can change another’s mind in an argument, but if approached without the argument as suggested in “The Art of Not Arguing”, there may be some movement toward resolution. The divorce coach was not finance savvy at the time of her divorce. Her husband proposed... --- - Published: 2012-04-27 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/back-to-basics-divorce-mediation-models-standards/ After attending a Continuing Legal Education mediation training class this week, I was pondering the ongoing debate between mediation styles. There is a culture which has sprung up in mediation practice in New Jersey which calls for caucusing. A caucus is a break out session during the mediation process. The mediator speaks independently and privately with each participant. New York follows a couple’s therapy model by expressly not caucusing with the participants so that all communications are shared from beginning to end. I am much more comfortable with the latter model. I have found that with all the attendant stress involved in the process, the participants exhale their relief that nothing will happen behind one’s back. The argument in favor of caucusing appears to be that the mediation may discover an area of compromise that would not come out in front of the other party. I would think, however, that you would arrive at that place of compromise during the joint mediation session without having to worry about what needs to be kept confidential and what does not. In researching the various mediation models including the pros and cons of caucusing, I found the definitions and basic standards formally set forth and adopted by Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, Association for Conflict Resolution and Mediate. com. The mission statement of this blog is to educate and support those individuals who find themselves contemplating divorce or at some stage in their divorce process. As a passionate believer in the benefits... --- - Published: 2012-04-13 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/grieving-and-healing-through-separation-and-divorce/ In my blogs I like to add my perspective to an expert’s article. My theory is that I may add my expertise from working with divorcing couples to the ‘authority’ I find online. In today’s case, the article that caught my attention was not written by a therapist, lawyer or financier, but is an author’s very heartfelt account of the grieving and healing process from his separation and divorce. What struck me about Steven Crandell’s (“For Men Who Have Everything Including a Broken Heart—Thoughts on Surviving Separation 2: Grieving is Healing”) account was how deeply he was affected and how openly he shared his pain, his challenges, and the universal lessons he learned. I often encounter spouses who are grieving terribly for the loss of their marriage and the life they thought they had chosen. The circumstances and experiences are different for every individual. There are support groups. Many are not inclined to share their pain publicly. What I offer today is one man’s account (the stages of grief and lessons learned are just as true for women), of his journey out of the grief and onto the healing. Mr. Crandell’s lessons: Accept Grief. Grieving is Healing. Hurting sucks but it’s natural and appropriate. The healthiest among us will not seek mind-numbing escapes to avoid this natural process. The process is an opportunity to grow stronger, deeper and more aware and more compassionate. Learn to Wait. “If you don’t know what to do, it’s ok to do nothing. It may... --- - Published: 2012-03-30 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/facebook-and-texting-is-incriminating-evidence-in-divorces/ Facebook posts and text messages are a significant and growing trend as evidence in litigated divorce cases. Litigants no longer have to convince the judge that their soon-to-be-ex-spouse was committing evil deeds. Divorcing parties are more often divulging their inappropriate behavior to the judge themselves. Imagine a custody battle and during which concerned and dedicated mom’s Facebook post is presented to the court showing her drunk, scantily dressed and surrounded by her boyfriend and ne’re do well partygoers while mom was supposed to be home helping Susie with her homework. Imagine a court battle over an alimony issue via text message in which the high wage earner admits to concealing cash receipts or that spouse sends the other a compromising picture message that has now become evidence in the divorce. In either of these cases and innumerable others, the fat lady is singing her heart out. According to recent surveys conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 81% of the members have seen an increase in the use of social networking sites as evidence in divorce cases over the past five years. Even more significantly 94% have seen a rise in the use of text messages as evidence over the past three years. Ken Altshuler, President of the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, explains in his article in the Huffington Post, “evidence in writing is always the most effective proof in demonstrating that someone is being dishonest, contradictory, and lacks credibility... Once you can effectively question someone’s credibility with their... --- - Published: 2012-03-09 - Modified: 2025-06-17 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/4-tax-tips-for-divorcing-couples/ According to Barbara Zell Weinberger, Esq. writing for the Huffington Post, The following are the most commonly asked questions asked by divorcing couples during tax season. (The additions which I have added are italicized and contained in parentheses. ) 1. Do we file jointly or as individuals? The law states that every individual must file according to his or her marital status as of December 31st in any given year. Some parties might consider delaying finality to their divorce until after the New Year so that they may reap the benefits of filing jointly. An agreement should be made in advance as to the refund or deficiency in this case. (I would clarify that the agreement should concern how to share the refund or liability. It may not be the same for the refund as opposed to any liability based on the equitable factors involved in that particular set of circumstances. ) Alternatively, if you are still going through a divorce, you can file “married filing jointly” or “married filing separately. ” If there are concerns about income, such as a question about whether or not one party is reporting all income or withholding cash received in an effort to defraud the government, you may want to file separately or obtain indemnification from your spouse’s representation. 2. Who claims the children? Unless there is an agreement or Court Order stating otherwise, the designated primary custodial parent has the right to claim the child, or children. If your divorce is still... --- - Published: 2012-03-02 - Modified: 2023-06-01 - URL: https://newhopedivorcemediation.com/turning-divorce-lemons-into-lemonade/ Some of the time there is mutual agreement as spouses head for divorce. Of course this is the ideal situation for two people heading for such a significant transitional period in their lives. Even under the best of circumstances, however, there are challenges and obstacles as each individual embarks on their independent lives. Sometimes one must ‘pick up the slack’ that was the alternate partner’s responsibility in the relationship and sometimes one must learn to tackle their own independent finances for the first time. Much of the time, however, the decision to divorce was made by one spouse and the other is dragged into this life transition against his or her will. That is when the future looks all the more daunting to the unwilling party. This is when it is most important for that individual to ‘take the bull by the horns’ and become most aware of being the captain of their life’s ship. Laura Campbell wrote a very helpful article in the Huffington Post, “This Is Not Where I Thought I Would Be. ” Ms. Campbell likened divorce to the game of pick-up sticks. “After holding the sticks tightly together, you released them with force, sending them all over the table. Then, one stick at a time you pick them up, making sure not to touch or move any other stick as you do it. It took patience and a good strategy for addressing which stick should be picked up first so that none of the others would... --- ---