When Mediating your Divorce Remember…
- Understanding your spouse’s position is not the same as agreeing with it.
- Agree to be reasonable.
- When you’re willing to try to understand the other’s position, as long as it’s at least reasonable and makes sense (the reasonableness of which I understand is in the eye of the beholder), agreeing to it means you’ve just taken a step toward a settlement. You are not raising a white flag.
- You cannot force someone to stay married to you so you’re not giving in or giving up by accepting a necessary compromise.
- Your spouse has legal rights that can’t be stripped away.
Mediation is not for you if…
- You have an emotional axe to grind, mediation is resolution focused.
- You want to gamble with your assets, child custody and support issues.
- You want someone to argue for you for more than your equitable share of your marital estate.
- You want to gamble with legal and/or procedural rules, loopholes, exemptions and exception that may come into play through litigation.