On Tuesday I had the good fortune to be invited to an exceptional learning opportunity. We learned from business powerhouse Shawn Kent Hayashi about communication styles and workplace motivators. The participants were women with amazing and interesting stories. We all took a preliminary assessment before the conference. The information which is gleaned from these evaluations is apparently used in workplace settings in order to facilitate better communication and working environments. As a divorce mediator, however, I couldn’t help but relate the information we were discussing to my divorcing couples.
The first part of the assessment placed the participants in varying degrees on a scale of four essential personality types: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance. People could have an abundance of more than one personality flavor. After studying several workplace scenarios, it was interesting to learn that conflict would often come from people doing their best in their own style rather than the problems arising out of a personal conflict.
The second part of the assessment measured six essential workplace motivators. In this section the top two ‘attitudes’ were what was relevant in making up the why of what we do what we do. When I apply these revelations to a divorcing couple I want to suggest that many conflicts, however real, may not be as personal as the parties think. Each party may be doing the best he or she can within the constraints of their personality style. Understanding and appreciating what each party has to offer, or is unable to offer, just may be the key to better communication through the difficult hurdles of the divorcing process.