As you move forward through this transition time, you’re bound to have many questions. A divorce mediator provides neutral facilitation and helps you craft a Separation Agreement that’s mutually agreeable.
In The Pitfalls of Trying to Negotiate Your Own Divorce, I outlined some of the common difficulties couples encounter. Namely, there’s not a neutral party to keep the discussion on track and provide a level head to an emotional time.
Even if you’re facing an uncontested divorce, you still have to sort out the questions of distribution of property, finances and if you have children, custody. These discussions can cause emotions to flare and it can be tempting to try and mitigate them as much as possible.
3 Pieces of Divorce Advice:
1—Know what you’re signing. Sometimes a spouse will sign paperwork without knowing the full ramifications of the document. They may do this out of a hope to bring a quick conclusion to an unsettling time or they may be bullied. It’s important to know that you’re not signing away 1000’s of dollars you’re entitled to or giving away your retirement funds. It happens. A trained divorce mediator will review paperwork and offer you neutral counsel.
2—Develop your support network. Divorce can bring up a myriad of emotions – sad, angry, untethered—often all in the same day. Get the support you need from a trained therapist, a divorce support group, family and friends. You need a safe space to cry, vent and realize you’re not alone.
3—Don’t badmouth your soon to be ex-spouse to your children. It creates conflict, confusion and long term repercussions. Your children are already confused, upset, angry or scared. Don’t make it worse on them. They need to know that you’re still their parents and you both love them. Badmouthing the other parent creates a division and children feel they have to take sides.
Divorce is a time of transition. Two adults are redefining their lives from a joint family unit to two independent family units. Get good divorce advice by hiring qualified legal help to guide you through transition.