No Tools Allowed

I love hearing during the divorce mediation process that parents both want to spend time with their children.  The flip side of that is using children as a tool or leverage during the divorce process.  More often such manipulations happen in the litigation setting than during mediation, but it is important to always prioritize your children’s best interests.  As a divorce mediator, I am lucky to work with couples who want to agree on their parenting time schedule themselves.  It is important to remember, however, not to be intransigent with your parenting agreement as a consequence of having issues with your soon to be ex-spouse.

I love to hear that he/she is the father/mother of my children.  That sentence is usually followed by a generosity of spirit.  Long after the divorce process if over and done you will continue to be the parents of your children.

Remember to never speak ill of the other parent.  Your children will understand your circumstances more and more as they age.  They will appreciate that you took the high road, probably sooner than you think.

Remember that your children are 50% of both of you.  If you insult the other parent, you are insulting 50% of your child as well.

Remember that children always love their parents.  You are setting an example and it is in your children’s best interests that both parents are involved in their children’s lives.