A common theme when approaching divorce is fear. Of course there is fear of the unknown, but what about the fear that results from spousal threats? The BEST OF list of COMMONLY HEARD THREATS: “I will tell the court that you—had an affair, use anti-anxiety medication, have a couple of glasses of wine in a day. I will get sole custody and you will lose the kids.” The standard the court … [Read more...] about FEAR & THREATS & DIVORCE
New Jersey’s alimony law, N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23 was revised on September 10, 2014. Some of the changes in New Jersey’s controversial alimony law clarify durational limits and provide factors for modification and termination of alimony. Probably the most significant change in the New Jersey Alimony Statute is that the term “permanent” alimony has been replaced with “open durational” alimony. Now in … [Read more...] about New Jersey’s New Alimony Law
I love hearing during the divorce mediation process that parents both want to spend time with their children. The flip side of that is using children as a tool or leverage during the divorce process. More often such manipulations happen in the litigation setting than during mediation, but it is important to always prioritize your children's best interests. As a divorce mediator, I am lucky to … [Read more...] about No Tools Allowed
Over the weekend I saw a movie that contained a fabulous parable. According to my research it is an old Cherokee fable. “One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. “One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, … [Read more...] about Which Wolf Will You Feed?
Usually when people call to inquire about divorce mediation they underestimate the complexity of the issues involved under the circumstances of their divorce. There is the exception of a couple who has been married for a very short period of time, has held all their limited property separately, doesn’t own a home, earns similar salaries and doesn’t have children. Usually the issues are more … [Read more...] about The Pitfalls of Trying to Negotiate Your Divorce on Your Own